I Really Feel Violated!

There is actually something a lot worse than being #1 at what you do when haters competitors and other interested parties thinking you're #1 at what you do and trying to sabotage or destroy you by any means necessary.  But I'm going to take the high road (after venting a little more) and pray about it.

It is no secret I love computers.  My love of computers inspired me to start my own computer related services company years ago.  I have always wanted to own a growth venture.  Unfortunately, it has been nothing more than an expensive hobby that I love and enjoy.

Well right now today I am feeling some kind of way.  There is a lady on my FACEBOOK page who I feel is abusing her power as a public official to spy on every aspect of my existence.  And it really hurts wondering if the real reason for all this mayhem is because of a man she is interested in.  At one point I was contemplating whether or not I should say something to him.  But watch the video for my decision on that.



Let me tell you this past week or so has been a week.  I even had one very unprofessional person text me a message with the acronym "BS" in it.  It landed in the message box of someone with higher authority.

All this reality show type drama I'm just not up for it.  However, it did inspire me to create a video message.

WATCH IT!

44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:44 (KJV)

I am humming one of my favorite gospel songs:  "His eye is on the Sparrow and I know he watches me!"

Be blessed.

Some Folks Get It and Some Folks Don't

When we come to a crossroads in our life it is a time of a lot of reflecting.  I was drafting a post to my daughter for FACEBOOK and then decided not to post it, mainly due to the length and then so I decided to turn it into a blog post.  Here goes:

Lauren I agree you are way beyond your years in maturity.  You are rare in that you are a born go-getter and don't need to be taken to the well for water to drink.  You are the type that goes out and finds your own water and will dig your own well if you have to.  Others, not so much so.  

Life also has those who will wait for you to fetch the water, bring the water to them, get them a cup, pour it in the cup for them, put the cup up to their mouth, and leave you hoping they will at least sip it.  

And then there will be others who will not even sip or swallow and you have to inject fluid into their veins to keep them from dehydrating.  Then they surmise your supply should always be full even when they keep draining it.  Then please but please don't feel some kind of way or catch an attitude because they not expecting anything more than what you've always done.  But rather it is I who is expecting too much.  And if I start feeling some kind of way I am the one with the attitude.

Life is full of surprises and people will surprise you.  You don't have full control over another person's actions.  And you definitely don't have control over their reaction.  

We all go through different challenges, and at times ups and downs and maybe even some crazy turnarounds. But life goes on and we have to keep moving forward and make the best of it. 

The way some folks treat you will leave you filling drained and like you're in a rut.  But the key is to keep pressing forward regardless.  Just think if they didn't see the strength or the resource in you they probably wouldn't be coming to you.  

Look at the bright side and try and tap into all that energy they fill you are full of and make it work for you.  Yes some people are mature beyond their years and some have some catching up to do.  But in all times I am hoping I am moving forward in Godspeed.

What Happens When You Miss the Chance to Get on Top?

One thing I have come to realize is that in life there exists a lot of opportunities to be on top.  In a relationship whether it is a working relationship, a personal relationship, a spiritual relationship, a professional relationship, or a romantic relationship.  By nature most people seem to be very competitive these days.  I really think all these reality television shows have ruined America making wanting to be competitive and the drive to be on top to run rampant.

The one quote which comes to mind is the infamous the bigger they are the harder they fall.  I remember my glory days in real estate.  It was between the years of 2005 and 2008.  Things were going really well for me.  I was making a lot of money and spending a lot of money too.  I had advertising costs, all types of costs and expenses to the maximum.

The irony of some situations sometimes seem surreal.  The bulk of my business was from distressed property sales.  I was elated when I started receiving the homes in the $300K plus dollar range.  They most often meant a bigger commission.  I remember at times I was receiving 44 inquiries a month I could not handle.  My phone was ringing so much at times I literally wanted to throw it out the window of my car as I drove down the highway.

I worked from sun up until sun down and beyond.  I recall putting in many 21 hour days.  I was keeping it together by paying for cleaning services. I was keeping my laundry up by utilizing the services of the cleaners to do my clothes.  I was keeping my hair up by utilizing the services of beauty salon at the mall that I could go to on Sundays and later in the evening into the nights if I went during the week.

I was too busy for myself to keep up with myself and it eventually won the best of me.  One valuable lesson I learned from it all was to pace myself.  I was getting older and my mind was still sharp and very competitive.  I felt like my soul crashed when everything came to a head.

Later I realized I had too many stressful issues going on all at the same time.  My father passed, my son was incarcerated, my mother was terminally ill, and I wasn't keeping a good work/life balance at all and as I was trying to fix it dang it I got sick.  

I had goals and objectives in mind and it seemed like everything around me was tumbling down.  Thankfully at the time money was not one of my issues.  As time progressed it became an issue.  A couple of years later I found myself entering the work-a-day world.  It seemed because of all I had on my plate it didn't looking appetizing to the powers that be and I was blacklisted.

I struggled and tried hold steadfast in hopes that someone would realize I was working as hard as I ever did and give me a fighting chance.  The older I get it seems the fewer the chances seem to be.  The 50 and over crowd seems to not be in high demand when it comes to employment opportunities.

Then I wonder is it punishment for all the opportunities I forfeited.  I have been presented with some wonderful opportunities in my life where if I had stuck it out I may have had my chance at the top.  It seems when turbulence presented itself because I was black or because I was a woman or just because someone found in their heart not to like me I took the position to move on.  Heck my parents fought for equal rights and I wasn't about to reignite the fight.  Because of their struggles I knew there were places to work that I didn't have to tolerate being treated any kind of way or anything I didn't feel comfortable with.  If there was a cause that needed a fight I didn't have the time to fight it because I wanted to be somewhere there was a straight arrow to the top.

Age has made me realize that is just totally unrealistic.  Even in personal and/or romantic relationships that doesn't happen.  You can look right but you better be looking left too.  There will be roadblocks and detours.  There will be some turbulence especially at the times I want the waves to be smooth.

I have come to realize there can be someone who you want to be number one with.  Someone else who you want to be on top when it comes to them.  However, it is not always reciprocated.

One thing that is funny to me is the old saying goes one way to get over one man is to get on top of another one.  I am sitting here pondering well what happens when you never did get on top literally or figuratively? Why do the feelings of needing to get over it even arise?