Over the past two years I've spent most of the time in my home alone. Over the past eight months or so I've welcomed a male friend in my home. To be honest if I could have my choice of whom I would like to spend the rest of my life with it would be him. I love his chocolate skin tone, his dry sense of humor which is unlike most brothas, his confidence, and his independence. I also adore his his intellect and the way we can sit and talk for hours over a cup of coffee and carry on a meaningful conversation.
But I feel like I'm in a jam. He's been super sweet to even entertain spending time with someone who really has nothing to bring to the table to compliment or enhance and not deplete what he has. I believe in pulling my own weight.
The thing I love about him the most is he reached out when others pulled back. I see the phrase "real men" used a lot in context online. Some people look at what is on the surface to define what a real man is. I look to see what a man is doing in the trenches. He has done the work. And for me personally with being unemployed for almost a year it is tough on me and it hurts like hell to have to let someone who seems to be the prescription the doctor ordered to go unfulfilled. Just to have someone partially in your corner when everyone else has turned their back on you afraid you might ask them for something because you're unemployed was to me really a blessing. A lot of times people see what is going on on the surface but they don't see what is going on behind the scenes.
I'm in such a jam and I need not only the prayers of prayer warriors but all the sinners prayers I can get too. There is a whole lot of rebuilding to do.
I am in a jam and I know faith, hope, and perseverance will continually give me the strength to push forward. and keep standing. I need a opportunities and fast breaks to open up in a lot of areas in my life. I've been looking for jobs and Lord knows I have applied for many. It seems to some I am not doing a thing. Trust and believe I am.
Pray in agreement with me that God will bless me and my family members who are in need of prayer too with the jobs, stability, and business opportunities to succeed. I am a true believer if there is more than one gathered together in agreement it shall be done.
The dress I have on in this photo was taken on a Friday night. Normally on Friday nights I go and workout and do a couple hours exercise. But that old familiar phrase "how do you expect things to be different if you keep doing the same things" so I decided to change up and do something different. I haven't been out in years. So I got dressed up and went to my uncles house hoping to get an invite to a birthday party. But when you're broke and folks know you're broke they don't want to hang with you. Especially when you're going to a pricey spot. I thought wearing the dress I have on in the photo would serve as a little hint that I may be broke but I had clothes before I became broke and I can dress up and look presentable to go out. Some people just have no mercy for broke folks.
The look on my face is my missing my boo who even though it may be only about once a month he would come chill with my broke self when he was in town. I'm missing him and the conversations we would share over a cup of coffee. The last time he was at my house he asked me "do you have a job yet?". And it sort of seemed like he showed me a tough love side of him. I knew it would eventually become an issue. Good grief it has been a while and I still have no job. I hope to be in a better place real soon and out of this jam. I am really getting bored being around the house playing dress up. I'm ready to dress up in business attire and go to work.
