I've stumbled across quite a few articles about celibacy lately. It appears to be the new norm for people over 50. I can say I truly relate. There comes a point and time in your life when it seems enough really seems to be enough.
The dating scene has changed drastically. I would guess that most people around 50ish were dating back in the early 80's. A lot has changed on the dating scene since the early 80's.
Back in the early 80's a lot of the songs were very soulful. The male vocalist often sung about how much they loved their women. And we also listened to a lot of songs which were yesteryear for the 80's We had grown up listening to vocalists who sang about love.
Nowadays it seems most of the songs are about hit and miss. The lyrics of the songs dictate lustful attractions versus attractions from love at first sight. Now for me personally, someone has to stimulate my mind and there never really has been any songs along that line. But if I had to choose a song style and lifestyle preference it would definitely be the songs of the early to mid 80's and earlier.
I'm sure a lot of people over 50 would agree with me in that if you had it to do all over again you would have probably invested more time in making one of those earlier relationships work. Who could have foreseen things going down hill so very quickly. A lot has changed and a lot of things have changed for the better.
Maybe the dating scene has change a lot for the better for most people but I don't go out on dates anymore. I tried when I first got divorced. But in recent years I don't do it, the dating scene. Mainly because what I perceive what a date should be is not what it ever turns out to be.
I'm a girl who never had to ask for anything. Many guys nowadays are on their guard thinking a woman may ask them for something. I have been out of work for a year this month and prior to that I have been self-supporting. Knock on wood I have never had to have a man support me. Even when I was married I was the primary bread winner. My ex-husband would often tell people my wife takes good care of me. However, when we first started dating chivalry was definitely not dead. He wined and dined me. We visited family and friends on a regular. He would buy me expensive gifts. I never had to ask him for anything if he saw I could use something or something I had needed to be upgraded he would just do it. I think that is one of the main reasons why I we ended up lasting in a relationship.
He was a proud man. He made me discard of everything any other man had ever brought for me. I threw away a lot of expensive dresses, shoes, and items I cherished. He called me just about hourly. He would show up unannounced and I could do the same with him where he was living. I feel in a relationship where no one is playing games this should be the norm. With some people nowadays it is almost like you need a directive. I'm not into that. If I am intimately involved with anyone they can show up to my house any time because I am monogamous and I don't play games when it comes to affairs of the heart.
With all the drama, the infidelity, the changing of partners for some people like they change their underwear I certainly don't find it surprising more people are opting to just abstain from an intimate encounter all together. Personally for me I prayed on my situation last year. I prayed that once the one person I was intimate with no longer was in the picture that I would have done things in such moderation that I would be able to break the bond of being sexually attracted or involved with anyone.
Well I have kept my vow to myself. If this final fling is over I am joining the ranks of celibacy too. Dating is overrated. Even though I would really like to be in a relationship I can't deal with the drama in trying to be in one.
I've found in recent years men aren't loyal. They are not forthcoming with their current situation. My social life for the most part is so boring it could be an open book. Yes, celibacy as my new thing is definitely a viable option.
