How long can it go on? I have read numerous reports about how well the job market has been this year. It appears on a national level the unemployment rate is way down. Question: Why I am having the worse year of my life financially and how I am coping with it?
Financially, it has been a tough year. I miss the 50+ discount shopping at my favorite store on Tuesdays. I miss using my discount cards to eat out. Heck I miss even being able to go. I miss go skating on Family Skate nights with my grand girls most of all. This not having money crap is for the birds.
Thankfully I was able to get out the house recently. I was able to attend a long time no see party because a gentleman who knew I have been out of work offered up a ticket and I took it. 
The photos above are from my having attended a long time no see party. I saw some other ladies taking selfies in the mirror in the bathroom, and since the lighting was very low in the banquet rooms, I decided to follow suit. Now even though I wore the coat I have on that evening, the pictures were actually taken the day I was headed out to a ball a day early back in November. Yes things have been such a beast lately I have occasionally lost focus. The stole I have on belonged to my great-grandmother, her initials appear embroidered on the inside in script lettering.
Over the years I have come to realize I don't make too many lists. I attended a function recently for real estate agents, the only reason why I made it was due to a sponsor. Since I haven't had any sales in the last year I was scrapped from the invite list. Someone must have missed the memo that the ones who haven't had a sale all year need to eat the most. Some folks are just thoughtless and heartless.
So now that I have had years of being blacklisted it has taught me a lot. Mainly it has shown me how I need to mend my own ways.
I have been looking for a job for over a year now because I do realize because others have told me I have been blacklisted I see I can look forward to making no money in sales. To give up everything I am trying to do as far as being an entrepreneur because I have been blacklisted because when a directive comes from the top it filters down.
One person said it is because people don't like me, another said it is because I don't like people, another said it is because of my reputation , and still another said it is because I don't get along well with people, another said it is because at one point I was making too much money. And to all of that I say "Peace Be Still". During this time of year when we commemorate the birth of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I pray for a rebirth in my soul and others as well. Soul searching ain't never hurt nobody. I pray that those who believe that will open their minds, their heart, their body, their way of thinking to see that I have come a long way and I do have far to go and I don't need to be carrying no baggage like that. My God is a forgiving God and he can forgive me of my transgressions, my iniquities, and my shortcomings. He is awesome and I love the work he so wondrously created in me. I am by no means perfect, however, neither am I by any means all that the naysayers make me up to be.
One person said it is because people don't like me, another said it is because I don't like people, another said it is because of my reputation , and still another said it is because I don't get along well with people, another said it is because at one point I was making too much money. And to all of that I say "Peace Be Still". During this time of year when we commemorate the birth of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I pray for a rebirth in my soul and others as well. Soul searching ain't never hurt nobody. I pray that those who believe that will open their minds, their heart, their body, their way of thinking to see that I have come a long way and I do have far to go and I don't need to be carrying no baggage like that. My God is a forgiving God and he can forgive me of my transgressions, my iniquities, and my shortcomings. He is awesome and I love the work he so wondrously created in me. I am by no means perfect, however, neither am I by any means all that the naysayers make me up to be.
Many a day those same naysayers I have assisted with many a project. Even during my time of nothingness when I don't have a penny to give from my pocket, I generously and graciously give of myself. During my times of having anything I am one of those who more than give to causes and to others. Like I said, "Peace Be Still."
The best though I have to hand it to the person who told me everything I try and do there are others who counteract my actions to capitalize on what I have done. My thoughts are could not that same time be invested into doing your own stuff?
I am still getting text messages a day late. Leads being redirected to folks who are looking to work with me and get someone who looks nothing like me. I have told close friends to try me at another number when it seems like I am just relentlessly not answering my calls. Because they still require a subpoena to find out what the source of the unauthorized activity on my cell phone account is, it cannot be freely disclosed to me without one. How sad, I am thinking the bill should be sent the to elsewhere or paid by whoever can access my account unauthorized.
I am still getting text messages a day late. Leads being redirected to folks who are looking to work with me and get someone who looks nothing like me. I have told close friends to try me at another number when it seems like I am just relentlessly not answering my calls. Because they still require a subpoena to find out what the source of the unauthorized activity on my cell phone account is, it cannot be freely disclosed to me without one. How sad, I am thinking the bill should be sent the to elsewhere or paid by whoever can access my account unauthorized.
I guess you can call this one of my "Diary of a Black Woman Day" and I do love Tyler Perry the Mr. Everything for blessing America with such a great movie. The only thing that could have been better is if a black woman like me had actually written it.
Don't fret I am going to come on the scene with my own book in the coming months. I hope to release it by Valentine's Day. I am trying to build the hype now.
On this day as always the battle is not mine it is the Lord's. I am going to do everything I know how to do it in the right way. Today as a many a day I am venting.
The devil is a liar. I receive a text message on yesterday saying:
Him: "Hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas."
Me: "Thanks i hope yu do as well"
Him: "I was thinkin boutcha"
Him: "Wanna do something real nasty to Ya...)"
Me: "I am good."
Him: "I know u good. Can I get that this wknd"
Me: "Take a number...lol"
Him: "Lol:
Him: "Um yo no 1"
Him: "I get lick on Ya (expletive) 1st"
Him: "Just spread it and let me do my thang..."
This is what I deal with. It is just so ironic that a text message I would have wanted to receive the night before, very clean as always mind you, didn't come through until after I receive this BS. So I text and call the person who I love that don't love me after I received his text many hours later. I don't need no subpoena because common sense says who is hacking my phone.
So I have to call and let this super fine chocolate brother know his message just came through and I had previously given him another way to contact me and to again use that number because I have no reason not to reply right back to him. I didn't tell him bozo the clown is at it again because apparently he's tracking him and me like people were tracking Santa Claus.
So I have to call and let this super fine chocolate brother know his message just came through and I had previously given him another way to contact me and to again use that number because I have no reason not to reply right back to him. I didn't tell him bozo the clown is at it again because apparently he's tracking him and me like people were tracking Santa Claus.
Today, I send the adult text messaging pro a message:
Me: "Help me out my current situation and I will make it financially rewarding for you."
Him: "No can do. Got my own family obligations to deal with."
Me: "Okay."
Sometimes things get to be a little too much surreal. He ain't broke. And guess who may have helped to the tune of a $3,750 towards a child support delinquency he had years ago? He lie so much I wonder if that was even true. We first started dating right after my divorce. Every 1st of the month he was broke because that's when he got his retirement check and he preyed on young women. They would take all his money and then he wouldn't have the money to pay his mortgage, car payment, or nothing else. Did he learn? No. I bet his method of operation (M.O.) is the same today. But my dilemma is when I am a friend I am a true friend, knocking boots aside though. You got to be more than a friend you got to be special for that.
I wouldn't even agree to meet him until my divorce was final. Our first date was at a movie. We used to be very close around the mid-2000's. However, in recent years the bigger he has gotten the lesser I have become as a woman worthy of his respect. There are some seeds you water that turn into wild flowers with thorns.
We cut the intimacy off years ago because it was impacting his playboy hustle. Lord please forgive me for calling him a rat bastard but that is what I am really feeling right now. Oh but that wouldn't be correct because he was raised in a two parent household. My book will expose the blacklists we show up on because we won't be the freak on a whitelist. BAM!
The battle is not mine it's the Lord. And I'm the one with issues, yea right! I have been asking this pain in the derriere to no avail for the past three years not to send messages of this magnitude to my phone because my grandchildren sometimes pick up and use my phone. I can't tell you the number of close calls with this BS.
What goes around comes around and I'm going to be the one bringing it. Not by me but by the power vested in me. Lick on that.
