My grandmother used to say it all the time: "sorry is, is what sorry does".
One thing I always briefed my man on was don't mess in the streets. It will do one of two things make him better at cheating or not cheat at all. When a man starts getting restless and doesn't know what the heck to do with himself it's time to check him. If he's going through a mid-life crisis and loses himself, tell him to find himself before he loses you.
Why do women stick with jokers? Apparently for the laughs.
You have to demand a minimal level of respect. No? Okay let's blame the women. It's not him it's the women. They knock him down, pull his pants off, and jump on top of him. Not! Tell him to report it for what it is, no means no. I won't even say the word because I'm willing to bet 9 times out of 10 that is not the case.
Okay next excuse he has an addiction which leads him to do other things. Any relationship is only as strong as the weakest link. I would tell him to get saved or get lost. I wouldn't blame it on where he frequents. He's a grown man. Unless I see someone physically snatch him and force him to a location (which by the way is abduction) against his will that is hog wash.
Another thing my grandmother use to say on the regular is "Love hides all faults." It can hide the reality that someone is sorry as heck and do sorry things just because they are sorry. As long as they are doing sorry things they are not worthy of you. Once they straighten up their act then there may be a chance for reconciliation.
So Lord I beg and plead that if I ever get into a situation where I am blaming any and everything for my situation rather than where the problem lies reach down and slap me back into reality. Better yet slap him and make him aware that I want the person I originally fell in love with less the addictions and afflictions.
Stop blaming others for the actions of your sorry man. Too often a woman will allow a man to take her through a lot and lose all of her support system. Then once she comes to grip with what is really going on she has already alienated everyone else.
Some days I wonder why women fall to the level to be brainwashed by men to the point where everyone else but the man is to blame for his actions. I wonder when they will wake up and realize other people are not the problem they are trying to get you to come to grips with possible solutions to your perplexing situation. Stop condoning his BS and have him own his reality. No one forces drugs down his throat, no one forces him to be with other women. Those are choices he and he alone made.
To make his self feel better he keeps putting the blame elsewhere and the woman keeps believing in him. Yes it is understandable a woman wants to believe in her man. When you have to believe in your man at the expense of others there is a real problem.
Ask some thought provoking questions. How much have you advanced with him or are you just spinning your wheels? When was the last time he did something to make you feel special? How many excuses has he given you to leave than reasons to stay lately? Why is everyone else who don't do drugs, who don't hang out in the wrong places no matter how close or how far the ones who have the issues? Do I really expect someone to offer how sorry my man is when I tell them about a situation with him? When someone else offers I may want to look out for my own welfare and not concentrate on him and his nonsense do I get offended? Is it because the truth hurts? Can I try and understand why it hurts and lead myself towards healing or act like nothing is wrong and he's not to blame so I can feel better?
I know it can be frustrating having to think so hard. Doing the right thing doesn't require much thought at all. But sometimes we keep seeing the same situation over and over again because we keep failing the test over and over again. You can't get to the testimony until you pass the test.
Yesterday I was cleaning out my junk room aka my home office space. As I was going through some filing cabinets I came across a red envelope which was sort of thick. The flap was just tucked inside of the envelope. It was unsealed so I opened it up and looked at it. It was a Valentine's Day card inside that apparently I never mailed. The envelope was not addressed and it did not have a stamp on it.
