Battling the Blacklist Bandits

How long can it go on?  I have read numerous reports about how well the job market has been this year.  It appears on a national level the unemployment rate is way down.  Question:  Why I am having the worse year of my life financially and how I am coping with it?

Financially, it has been a tough year.  I miss the 50+ discount shopping at my favorite store on Tuesdays.  I miss using my discount cards to eat out.  Heck I miss even being able to go.  I miss go skating on Family Skate nights with my grand girls most of all.  This not having money crap is for the birds.

Thankfully I was able to get out the house recently.   I was able to attend a long time no see party because a gentleman who knew I have been out of work offered up a ticket and I took it.

The photos above are from my having attended a long time no see party.  I saw some other ladies taking selfies in the mirror in the bathroom, and since the lighting was very low in the banquet rooms, I decided to follow suit.  Now even though I wore the coat I have on that evening, the pictures were actually taken the day I was headed out to a ball a day early back in November.    Yes things have been such a beast lately I have occasionally lost focus.  The stole I have on belonged to my great-grandmother, her initials appear embroidered on the inside in script lettering.

Over the years I have come to realize I don't make too many lists.  I attended a function recently for real estate agents, the only reason why I made it was due to a sponsor.  Since I haven't had any sales in the last year I was scrapped from the invite list.  Someone must have missed the memo that the ones who haven't had a sale all year need to eat the most.  Some folks are just thoughtless and heartless.  

So now that I have had years of being blacklisted it has taught me a lot.  Mainly it has shown me how I need to mend my own ways.  

I have been looking for a job for over a year now because I do realize because others have told me I have been blacklisted I see I can look forward to making no money in sales.  To give up everything I am trying to do as far as being an entrepreneur because I have been blacklisted because when a directive comes from the top it filters down.

One person said it is because people don't like me, another said it is because I don't like people, another said it is because of my reputation , and still another said it is because I don't get along well with people, another said it is because at one point I was making too much money.  And to all of that I say "Peace Be Still".  During this time of year when we commemorate the birth of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I pray for a rebirth in my soul and others as well.  Soul searching ain't never hurt nobody.  I pray that those who believe that will open their minds, their heart, their body, their way of thinking to see that I have come a long way and I do have far to go and I don't need to be carrying no baggage like that.  My God is a forgiving God and he can forgive me of my transgressions, my iniquities, and my shortcomings.  He is awesome and I love the work he so wondrously created in me.  I am by no means perfect, however, neither am I by any means all that the naysayers make me up to be.

Many a day those same naysayers I have assisted with many a project.  Even during my time of nothingness when I don't have a penny to give from my pocket, I generously and graciously give of myself.  During my times of having anything I am one of those who more than give to causes and to others.  Like I said, "Peace Be Still."

The last few years have taught me that others will say and do anything to stifle your growth so they can grow.  However, as we all know that type of growth is short lived.  Seriously, even the big corporate chains may have very competitive deeds they perform but how many actually try and destroy their competition?  The very mentality resonates a very huge sign of insecurity and weakness.

The best though I have to hand it to the person who told me everything I try and do there are others who counteract my actions to capitalize on what I have done.  My thoughts are could not that same time be invested into doing your own stuff?  

I am still getting text messages a day late.  Leads being redirected to folks who are looking to work with me and get someone who looks nothing like me.  I have told close friends to try me at another number when it seems like I am just relentlessly not answering my calls.  Because they still require a subpoena to find out what the source of the unauthorized activity on my cell phone account is, it cannot be freely disclosed to me without one.  How sad, I am thinking the bill should be sent the to elsewhere or paid by whoever can access my account unauthorized.

I guess you can call this one of my "Diary of  a Black Woman Day" and I do love Tyler Perry the Mr. Everything for blessing America with such a great movie.  The only thing that could have been better is if a black woman like me had actually written it.  

Don't fret I am going to come on the scene with my own book in the coming months.  I hope to release it by Valentine's Day.  I am trying to build the hype now.

On this day as always the battle is not mine it is the Lord's.  I am going to do everything I know how to do it in the right way.  Today as a many a day I am venting.  

The devil is a liar.  I receive a text message on yesterday saying:

Him:   "Hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas." 

Me:  "Thanks i hope yu do as well"  

Him:  "I was thinkin boutcha"

Him:  "Wanna do something real nasty to Ya...)"

Me:  "I am good."

Him:  "I know u good.  Can I get that this wknd"

Me:  "Take a number...lol" 

Him:  "Lol:

Him:  "Um yo no 1"

Him:  "I get lick on Ya (expletive) 1st"

Him:  "Just spread it and let me do my thang..."

This is what I deal with.  It is just so ironic that a text message I would have wanted to receive the night before, very clean as always mind you, didn't come through until after I receive this BS.  So I text and call the person who I love that don't love me after I received his text many hours later.  I don't need no subpoena because common sense says who is hacking my phone.

So I have to call and let this super fine chocolate brother know his message just came through and I had previously given him another way to contact me and to again use that number because I have no reason not to reply right back to him.  I didn't tell him bozo the clown is at it again because apparently he's tracking him and me like people were tracking Santa Claus.

Today, I send the adult text messaging pro a message:

Me:  "Help me out my current situation and I will make it financially rewarding for you."

Him:  "No can do.  Got my own family obligations to deal with."

Me:  "Okay."

Sometimes things get to be a little too much surreal.  He ain't broke.  And guess who may have helped to the tune of a $3,750 towards a child support delinquency he had years ago?  He lie so much I wonder if that was even true.  We first started dating right after my divorce.  Every 1st of the month he was broke because that's when he got his retirement check and he preyed on young women.  They would take all his money and then he wouldn't have the money to pay his mortgage, car payment, or nothing else.  Did he learn?  No. I bet his method of operation (M.O.) is the same today.  But my dilemma is when I am a friend I am a true friend, knocking boots aside though.  You got to be more than a friend you got to be special for that.

I wouldn't even agree to meet him until my divorce was final.  Our first date was at a movie.  We used to be very close around the mid-2000's.  However, in recent years the bigger he has gotten the lesser I have become as a woman worthy of his respect.  There are some seeds you water that turn into wild flowers with thorns.

We cut the intimacy off years ago because it was impacting his playboy hustle.  Lord please forgive me for calling him a rat bastard but that is what I am really feeling right now.  Oh but that wouldn't be correct because he was raised in a two parent household.  My book will expose the blacklists we show up on because we won't be the freak on a whitelist.  BAM!

The battle is not mine it's the Lord.  And I'm the one with issues, yea right!  I have been asking this pain in the derriere  to no avail for the past three years not to send messages of this magnitude to my phone because my grandchildren sometimes pick up and use my phone.  I can't tell you the number of close calls with this BS.

What goes around comes around and I'm going to be the one bringing it.  Not by me but by the power vested in me.  Lick on that.

A Day Spent Enjoying the Waterfront Views in Norfolk VA

Happy Holidays from Norfolk VA!

This time of the year is normally a time for holiday gatherings.  I love photo sharing so I am sharing some photos I took while attending a luncheon on today.  I feel it is a great way to let someone experience a moment in time with you.  Visuals always seem to help when I am reading something.
These photos were taken from the balcony and from the inside of the banquet room reserved for our group of about 30 people.  The whole Downton Norfolk itself was dressed up very festively.  It is good to see people out enjoying time with friends, family, colleagues, business associates and others.  Today I had the pleasure of enjoying lunch with a group of other real estate professionals.  The facility we were eating at had a beautiful water front view.
As we know when it comes to real estate, the house is important but other attractions make it a selling point as well.  Buyers, especially new to the area want to know what the area has to offer.
Our waterfront areas have been a place where I have enjoyed many events over the years.  The street shown in the backdrop is Waterside Drive.  When it comes to eating it was a popular road for me when I first got into housing on the non-profit side back in 1988.  The Waterside Festival Marketplace had eateries where you could walk to from the Downtown businesses, get your food quickly and timely, and get back to work within an hour.  The walk I am sure helped with keeping my weight off back in those days.   It remained a favorite got to place of mine for many years.  I look forward to how it will look when the current plans for the surrounding areas is put in to fruition.
The World Trade Center is the actual building the luncheon was held at.  The luncheon was on the third floor at the Town Point Club in Norfolk, Virginia.   I think this is an awesome view to enjoy from the third floor of a facility.  From having visited some of the offices higher up and working in some of the top floors in the downtown area, you probably already know the views are even more magnificent on the higher levels.  In the backdrop is a picture of a contemporary museum, NAUTICUS.
The Town Point Club had a very nice buffet style set up.  Our group had a private room.  And the tables featured a practical and replicable holiday table theme idea.  Even myself, not the best at interior decorating could do this.  It has class and elegance to it.  I would never thought of it though.

Happy Holidays to everyone and I hope you have had a great year!  The early bird still catches the worm.  I was able to capture this photo by arriving ahead of the other guests. 
Additional photos:  Nauticus and Freemason Harbour Condo complex, and other waterfront condos view from balcony at The Club as it is so affectionately called.

View from inside the banquet room for small groups.

The photo below is not an illusion.  It was taken by the person taking the photo aiming at a stained glass with me in the backdrop.  And she did a fantastic job of not being captured in the photo.

I hope you have enjoyed my little photo tour.  And I just want to let you know Norfolk is a great place to come visit.  This area is over built in retail which makes it a great attraction for tourists.  I was born and raised in the area and I can never recall a time when there wasn't something to do!
Happy Holidays!

Posted by

Lynne Ruffin
REALTOR
Century 21 Nachman Realty
1512 E. Little Creek Road
Norfolk, Virginia  23518
Phone:   (757) 932-0053
Email:  Lynne@Century21. com
Website:  Lynne.co

I Pray for a Shift in the Atmosphere!

Dear Lord I kneel to you in prayer,

There is a lot going on that is tearing at the very fiber of our nation.  Lord I am keeping my trust and belief in you that you will impress upon us how to act and react.  Our very beautiful country which was founded on the principle of unity and trusting in God is suffering at the door of the death angel, Satan.  Forgive our transgressions Dear Lord and lift this plague from our dear nation.  Lead us and guide us in your will.

I am asking on this day Lord that you comfort our hearts, our souls, our body, our minds, our spirits for the greater good. Let us put our differences aside and learn to love and live together peacefully. I ask of you this day Dear Lord with a vengeance to bestow upon us that vengeance belongs to you.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and The Holy Spirit I pray there comes about a shift in the atmosphere.  Let the winds of change sweep away the madness.  Mend the hearts of the afflicted.  Heal the bodies of the sick.  Put your comforting arms around the weary.  Hold us, keep us, and lift us up according to your divine purpose.

I pray that you touch every heart, every mind, every body, every soul, and every spirit.  Teach us to reach deep for that Godly love within.  Lord I trust you and have faith you will shower your grace and mercy down on our current situation whether we be young or old, black or white, red or yellow, or any other color.  Let us not lean to our own understanding but put our trust in you.

Let not the callous and unwarranted actions of a few take down the many.  Lift us where we are weak.  Strengthen us in a way only I know you can do with your divine power.

Lord let us stay focused on the goodness of the many and not the misguided actions of the few.  Let us not get so overwhelmed and overtaken by our emotions that we put aside all the purpose and meaning for everything that we have prayed for, hoped for, loved for,cared for, worked for, and have placed our faith in.  Let the current turmoil in America not break us.  Let it help us reconcile, make amends, begin anew if we have to and begin again and make us stronger.

Give me the strength to call all your children sister, give me the strength to call all your children brother.  You promised never to leave us or forsake us and we need you in the midst of this moreover than ever before.  We want to continue to move forward.  We want healing, we want understanding, we want love, we want to give love.

Touch and console the hearts of the families who have suffered losses too soon.  I pray you bless these families with the faith, finances, friends, and forgiveness they need to make it through these turbulent times in Your Name to help them move on.  Keep front and center in their hearts, in our hearts, and in everyone's heart that joy comes in the morning and they will see their loved ones again.

I ask this and all great and positive things in Your Name.  Amen!

He Did the Dirt and the Women Get Shunned?

Bill Cosby was American as jello and pudding.  And if you grew up anywhere between the 60's and 70's jello and pudding were two of the most popular desserts.  Children who took their lunch to school carried the snacks in their lunch boxes.  A popular favorite of mine was when my grandma and aunties would make gelatin salads mixed with fruit.  My mother still uses vanilla pudding in the batter for her cakes for them to be moist and not dry.  With the commercials and television shows Cosby was an actor in he was really popular.  I will never forget his role as Dr. Cliff Huxtable in the mid-80's until the early 90's.  He seemed so wholesome and appeared to have everything together.  Now I think it is ironic how on the show he was a gynecologist.

Well fast forward to 2014.  Just think about the years he was like an American icon and all the years hence and all these allegations and it did not go real public.  I am just amazed these women did not come forward when Tiger Woods drama was unfolding.   Normally with great news stories that are a little juicy they try and contrast and compare them to similar allegations.  How did this all miss the radar?  Especially considering he is a black man.  Is it because he played down his black image by saying the very things blacks are normally stereotyped about.  Has his platform to bash unwed mothers and thugs a way of him subliminally disassociating himself with blacks?

Apparently it worked for him.  I can't think of another case, even with the King of Music, where someone with so much notoriety missed the radar.  The accusations with women coming forward stating their claim.  And did you see the Tweet from one of his Cosby TV show daughters in regards to what's done in the dark coming to the light.   The actual daughter on the show, not the step-granddaughter.

He was so loved by some that a lot of women and thugs he was bashing did not take offense to it.  They even paid to go hear him speak of their 50% loss ways.  I guess the underlying message is when you work hard you get to play harder.  No matter if you are touring the country bashing women who have children out of wedlock or you are privileged because you are privileged.  Just totally disregard you are committing the very acts which often times lead to women having children out of wedlock anyways.  Of course the whole situation could be worst and more verifiable.  He could have fathered just as many babies as he has had allegedly raped all these women.

A self-righteous indignant man who really portrayed himself as the know it all of family roles and responsibilities and could speak up so eloquently about what everyone else was doing wrong, how they are doing it wrong, and why they were doing it wrong.  Pumped up loud and in charge on his soap boxes preaching in a manner that as pissed off a lot of single mothers.  Heck I even felt disdain with his generalizations.

A lot of the behavior of thugs he seems to credit to the orange jumpsuit wearers not loving their parents.  It was not only the mothers at fault it was them jumpsuit wearing thugs too.  Instead of their spoon being silver they didn't even have a spoon and had to beg for what they get.

Now with my curious mind and I know it is none of my business but I would love to know if he loves his wife, his parents, or his children.  What has love got to do with it?  His love and fascination undoubtedly for people and things his money should not be buying but he tries and buy it anyways.

I am perplexed because my ex use to tell me a wife is nothing more than a high priced prostitute.  I am sure he could have well afforded to spice up his marital relationship by extending the same invitation or mock played out his roles or fantasies with his own wife.  I am truly just as offended by his disrespect for the space of single women than he probably is about women who have children out of wedlock and thugs.  It seems society has gone rampant with wanting to make single women appear to be whores.   Men who want to play and not stay.  Then they make is seems like it is the woman who is dirty even when they haven't did anything to pleasure the man.  These men put their ego ahead of the truth so they won't be embarrassed at the expense and reputation of a man.  I have heard women say for a lifetime they don't want no one else's husband.  However, society seems to thing single women are lonely and desolate, dang shame.

What man thinks just because a woman is singles it equates to she is ready to mingle with just anyone?  I encourage every one to have an open mind to these allegations being made by these women, this stuff happens for real.  They are not talking from a nut house they are functional members of society, work, struggle, strive, thrive, pay taxes, and exist like everyone else.  Respect that!

I went back and read the speech Cosby gave.  The one I was appalled that he was even asked to deliver.  The speech to the NAACP on the 50th Anniversary of the Brown vs. Topeka Board of Education.  Anyone recall his using words like embarrassment, parenting?  Bill please hand the mic to Camille, I am sure she can tell the world a whole lot about how embarrassment feels first hand. What is it?  Do women deserve to have the dream man to parent with them who gropes other women? Help me be clear as to why it is better to be married to someone who cheats than to be single?

You may have your friends, but goodness gracious with all the resources you have can't you get one good one. My gracious it appears Bill Cosby had an image everyone else upheld.   I guess the role he played as a gynecologist could have been a lot more fulfilling if the writers had just written some scenes where he could grope some women during an exam.  Let him get his frills on and let the show foot the bill.  Then he would not being paying via someone who has possibly just set his self up to contributing to the delinquency of minors if there are really victims who were as young as 16 during this fiasco.

Please but please humor me and let me know how you feel your actions impact or impress upon what you have been speaking about all these unwed women who have babies.  And most importantly when you are not looking for a handout because you feel you got it all.  The man (ha, ha), the money, the children to parent and you still get embarrassed by the action of others.  Is her embarrassment her fault?  Do you think possibly you led someone to drink if the actions of parents really reflect the destiny of the child in 50% of the cases what's your 50%'s?  Curious minds would love to know.

Then to do the ultimate punk move to hush folks up.  Man up.  You always talking about the manhood of males born out of wedlock.  Where does Cosby's self-proclaimed ability to apparently man up now stand?  Throwing his money, his influence, and his power at the issue and it gets fixed.  Is it sending the message to our sons that race doesn't matter all that really matters is money?  Do you need to get back on your soap box and say race is not the issue it is just whether you are broke as heck or not?  Getting a very vocal talk show host cancelled for being vocal about the situation, inexcusable.

I am beginning to realize there are a lot of similarities between you and the thugs, displaced anger.  The black males get mad at the white man, you get mad at the black woman.  I find it just so coincidental it is the black female shows getting cancelled or threatened for cancellation in the heat of the moment.

Bottom line  you have to have a certain status quo to do things and for the things you do not to matter.  Got it, and I think the black thugs you talk so openly about got it too.

Any single woman, divorced woman can tell you the pattern of a cheating married man.  Normally if they ever get you in a situation where they can hit on a single woman they are attracted to they are going to. Some are so big headed that they think every woman wants them.  You tell them no and when they know you don't have a man or a "good" man they think a woman is open game.  It is really unfair when women have to be subjected to this type of treatment.  Every woman deserves to be respected.  If she is not married today it does not mean she won't be married tomorrow.

Let me tell how men like you do.  You try and smear a good woman into only being able to have you.  You
Well it is just absurd.  If they do or don't get what they want they will try and smear the woman's credibility to make their disgusting acts look like sugar.  Why was he groping all those women?  Why was in a hotel room with his robe on with other women?  Why was he paying for their time like he was paying for a secretary?

I tell you what I can understand the plight of a woman with no resources to take care of a child more than that of a billionaire who can afford to take care of his wife and doesn't.  Oh he had so much to say during his speech for the 50th Anniversary of the Brown vs. the Topeka Board of Education event.  He can say all of what 50% of black thugs do and don't do.

The hypocritical part is on the back end he was engaging in the same type of reckless behavior that produces out of wedlock babies.  Did he not realize that?  I am really wondering how much parenting he did with all the extracurricular activity we have heard more and more about lately.

For me personally, I have said it before.  My grandmother and I never could stomach his commercials.  And mainly because it was so popular is why we watched the Cosby Show.  I always hated his parts.  Never knew why it would have been that it was just something about him I could not put my finger on.  My grandmother would always say it was something about him that she just did not like she could not stand him.

His speech included references to thugs being shot running out the store after having stolen soda pop.  He is so fortunate none of these women shot him or had a man to shoot him during his alleged activity.  He ended his speech with a comment about making Jesus smile.  Bill, did you make Jesus smile?  Now that models as young as 16 are being mentioned and if they come forward with any verifiable proof guess who may be wearing an orange suit?

The victim in all of this, Camille.  Someone who isn't saying anything is normally listening.  She is in a great position to end up very victorious.  I would divorce him, take his billions, and change my last name.  I think that would send a loud message to the single out-of-wedlock moms if she were to join the ranks.  It would probably make them angry she had to go through so much to get there.

Silly Rabbit Haven't You Heard Tricks are Made for Kids?

By no means am I the perfect mother, however, I am really feeling some kind of way.  I cannot believe this woman gave her baby daddy money for studio time to do rap music.

I could appreciate it more if he had busted a rap to free her from the bondage of prison when she was incarcerated.  How do you look out for someone who completely abandoned you during your time of need?  He did not step up.  She had to get out and lift him up.  I'm thinking, YOU FOOL!

Well, truth be known I am feeling hoodwinked right about now.  I had sympathy for this woman.  It tore at my heart strings that this lady was incarcerated for leaving her children in the car while she went in for a job interview.  As a young mother in my early twenties I had three small children I was working to provide for.  I know how hard paying for child care can weigh on an already scrapped budget.  However, when your babies are involved you do what you have to do.

Government assistance was just not enough money for me to sit around and wait to collect.  I had to make money.  I liked doing things like going to the movies, going to ice shows, taking my children skating, to the park, out of town, buying them clothes, and doing different things with them.  They fueled my fire. I always say if it had not been for them I would have been such a pompous person I would not have been able to stand myself.  They were more of a help me find the nurturing part of me than being me.  When you have young, helpless souls to look out for just the mere fact they cannot do for themselves was always grace sufficient enough to make sure things happened for them.  They did not ask to be in this world.  If both parents don't step up one just has to.

I'm saying to this sistah, lady please get your act together.  Your children need you.  We as black women need you.  Now I'm going to probably being getting cross eyed looks from people wondering whether or not we all do this kind of crazy.  It's bad enough we get overwhelmed with attention about not having a man.  Then she go and do this and put this kind of man in this mix.  In some instances it is okay not to have a man.  Especially when his plan doesn't include you, rapper indeed.

We can't always blame it on the perpetrator.  I am wondering where the grandmother, aunties, uncles, and a whole lot of other people stand in this situation. Have they all failed to jump into the spotlight because they realize more than we who fell victim to her crying face what this situationship really is all about?  They were probably laughing hysterically that anyone else was rallying behind her.  They already knew we were jumping on a bandwagon that the wheels were bound to fall off?  (he-he).

On this one I'm calling it a wrap.  I was bamboozled.  But no more.  Whatever fate that judge decides to hand down I am sure he will be able to do it without a slap on the back of his hand.  The public outcry got this lady a pass and then she showed her a##.  The judge should issue a public "I told you so to all the haters who wanted to jump in and do his job!"

I was looking forward to a heart warming update on this one.  Since it is around Thanksgiving time an everything to be thankful type story.  I just find it incredulous that this woman did not use any of the money to pay for the necessities to sustain her and her children.  She can't possibly think this rapper of a baby daddy is going to look out for her if he makes it big!  Apparently with him she has invested her time and her money poorly.  They both need to get over themselves and put the children's interest first.

Just in case you missed this silly crap over some baby daddy rap dreams, here's a link to an article?:   http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/mom-left-kids-hot-car-spent-thousands-rap-album-article-1.2014027

Well I'm done.  That's all about this situation.  It's a w-r-a-p.  

A Show of Non-Support to Support the Bigger Issues!

Excuse me the quick to blame President Obama folks,

I don't think Democrats turned their back on the President.  I think it was just apathy over how much the bipartisan bickering has caused everything presented by this President during his last term and this term being an issue and people are sick of the nonsense.   People take time out to do things to make a difference.  Realistically and logically how much would it really had mattered if all the Democrats would have shown up for this last mid term-election?  With a dismal 37% turnout overall inclusive of Democrats nationwide I am more curious of why the Republicans apparently did not all show up either.

People I know are tired of seeing the President having to bang his head against a brick wall in an attempt to get things done.  How about people showed their support by not showing up to support the people who make the President's job harder?  Even though I did vote after further consideration of those who chose not to I am more empathetic.

If it wasn't for the city I live in putting an item on the ballot to have an elected school board versus an appointed school board I may not have shown up to vote either.  If I had not shown up it would have been because I am tired of seeing how hard President Obama has worked and how little cooperation he is getting from the system as a whole.  My non-support would have had everything to do with my distaste of how he has been treated and all he has had to endure since he has been in office.  

As witnessed in the last two Presidential elections people showed up when they knew their presence overwhelmingly would make a difference.  Let's also take into consideration all the millions spent on an event that boils down to an election that will cover one day. We have a large number of people living in poverty day-to-day who could think of a million ways they could put that money to better use.  People who can't even get an increase in minimum wage which keeps them below the poverty line are being expected to show up to vote for campaigns that have spent millions frivolously, really?  It is like the government is being micro-managed via the popular opinion of people with millions to spend on campaign funding and the voice of poverty is being silenced.

Furthermore, I feel if there is any one person to blame it would be Harry Reid for not bringing the real touchy issues between the Democrats and Republicans up to vote.  And the media contributed by waiting to close to the mid-term elections to spotlight the whole fiasco.  The elected officials in Washington weren't operating in the manner they were elected to do and by the way they were still being paid way above minimum wage as well.  In my opinion there are a myriad of reasons why Democrats, Republicans, Independents and any others did not show up to vote rather than a notion of non-support for President Obama.

Personally, I find it insulting that they are blaming President Obama for the apathy or whatever other reason people chose not to exercise their right to vote.  What about the other 63% or so who did not vote nationwide at all or some of the changes in identification requirements to vote?  I know dang well they are not all Democrats.  President Obama was shown casting his ballot.  If there is one person I can think of who has a whole lot of reasons not to vote based on  what he has endured it would be him.

I would like to further add, there has been no mention of the areas where there may have been only one name on the ballot.  If they extract this from the polling results I think it would present a better picture of why some chose not to vote.  It almost seems surreal for people to be boycotting a process that others fought. got beaten, and died for the right to exercise.  All I can say is God help us all.

The whole situation reminds me of a popular lyrics in a song I remember from my Freshman year in college in the Marching Band of the Sonic Boom of the South "I Couldn't See the Forest for the Trees" sung by Peabo Bryson.  In hindsight, which is 50/50 we need healing.  When something is broken healing is in order.  We need counseling.  We need motivation.  We need to believe again.  This Democracy is our system and we need to fix it.  We need to care.  We need to show our concern.

On the real all the folks who chose not to vote, as a Democracy we need your voice.  I can only keep going back to how much voting meant to my great-grandmother, my grandmother, and mother and the older I get the more I realize it.  My mother did not vote this time.  But with having MS for over 30 years this mid-term election is one of the only elections I ever recall her missing.  If it wasn't for her health she would have been there.  I am a product that growth requires change.  For most of my adult life I did not vote.  Once I matured to the level of seeing how much voting really matters.  Some of the people I love and like right to vote being taken away and they are still required to contribute to this financially by paying taxes and realizing how unfair that seems to me I will always exercise my right to vote.  I hope everyone else finds their purpose for voting.

Buying a House is a Lot Like Dating!

Yes.  I'm a single black female without a mate.  Does it really make me any different?  No.  We all have our trials to bare.  I know we hear about it a lot on the different social media platforms and we are not close to being an endangered species.  There are quite a few of us and just like with homes if there is more of a supply than there is a demand the prospects can pick and choose.  And if there are too many to choose from good grief.  As a real estate agent you can feel like a tour guide if they want to look at them all before making a final decision. Prospects are looking for a whole lot of extras to be thrown into the deal because there is more supply than there is demand. 

See below, let's look at this list of ten items/questions I generated as to why buying a house is a lot like dating, picking one at least:  

(1) Nowadays you sign up for a portal hoping to find that perfect one.

(2) You look at all the frills and thrills the listing has to offer

(3) Photos are real important 

(4) You choose to preview/save the listings that seem to have the most appeal

(5) Size does matter (get your mind out the gutter prospects want what they want)

(6) We normally like shiny new things (in houses it is usually stainless steel appliances and on dating sites let's face it we're looking at the cars in the photo, how much swag, the clothes, the upkeep, the cars (if there are any - vintage ones it is normally a sign of old money and taste, newer cars well normally equate to speed, fast lane, new money, big ticket ones equate to high maintenance)

(7) We search for any history of the home like prior owners, what the neighbors are like, etc. (or in the case of a prospective date the online history or reputation, who their online friends are, etc.)

(8) We normally consider staying power.  Is it a home we want to live in for a minute or one we are looking to live in for the meantime or between times, or commit to for a lifetime.  

(9) Is the structure sound?

(10) Does it look good on the outside and a hot mess on the inside or vice versa.  Is it a fixer upper or ready to move in ready.

I guess that's why the thought about buying a home is a lot like dating came across my mind.  I haven't heard the comparison before but I am sure somewhere along the line it has probably been made.

Well that's my rant for today.  I'm ready to find a mate and seal the deal.

Open House - 1096 Honeycutt Way, Virginia Beach, VA 23464 - MLS# 1430731 | CENTURY 21

Open House today, September 25, 2014
4 p.m. - 6 p.m.
Glenrock
Virginia Beach, Virginia  23464

(1) 1096 Honeycutt Way, Virginia Beach, VA 23464 - MLS# 1430731 | CENTURY 21


You can also view:

(2) 928 Honeycutt Way, Virginia Beach, VA 23464 - MLS# 1436341 | CENTURY 21

Singles Over 50 - Cellibacy as the New Thing!

I've stumbled across quite a few articles about celibacy lately.  It appears to be the new norm for people over 50.  I can say I truly relate.  There comes a point and time in your life when it seems enough really seems to be enough.

The dating scene has changed drastically.  I would guess that most people around 50ish were dating back in the early 80's.  A lot has changed on the dating scene since the early 80's.

Back in the early 80's a lot of the songs were very soulful.  The male vocalist often sung about how much they loved their women.  And we also listened to a lot of songs which were yesteryear for the 80's  We had grown up listening to vocalists who sang about love.

Nowadays it seems most of the songs are about hit and miss.  The lyrics of the songs dictate lustful attractions versus attractions from love at first sight.  Now for me personally, someone has to stimulate my mind and there never really has been any songs along that line.  But if I had to choose a song style and lifestyle preference it would definitely be the songs of the early to mid 80's and earlier.

I'm sure a lot of people over 50 would agree with me in that if you had it to do all over again you would have probably invested more time in making one of those earlier relationships work.  Who could have foreseen things going down hill so very quickly.  A lot has changed and a lot of things have changed for the better. 

Maybe the dating scene has change a lot for the better for most people but I don't go out on dates anymore.  I tried when I first got divorced.  But in recent years I don't do it, the dating scene.  Mainly because what I perceive what a date should be is not what it ever turns out to be. 

I'm a girl who never had to ask for anything.  Many guys nowadays are on their guard thinking a woman may ask them for something. I have been out of work for a year this month and prior to that I have been self-supporting.  Knock on wood I have never had to have a man support me.  Even when I was married I was the primary bread winner.  My ex-husband would often tell people my wife takes good care of me.  However, when we first started dating chivalry was definitely not dead.  He wined and dined me.  We visited family and friends on a regular.  He would buy me expensive gifts. I never had to ask him for anything if he saw I could use something or something I had needed to be upgraded he would just do it.  I think that is one of the main reasons why I we ended up lasting in a relationship. 

He was a proud man.  He made me discard of everything any other man had ever brought for me.  I threw away a lot of expensive dresses, shoes, and items I cherished.  He called me just about hourly.  He would show up unannounced and I could do the same with him where he was living.  I feel in a relationship where no one is playing games this should be the norm.  With some people nowadays it is almost like you need a directive.  I'm not into that.  If I am intimately involved with anyone they can show up to my house any time because I am monogamous and I don't play games when it comes to affairs of the heart.

With all the drama, the infidelity, the changing of partners for some people like they change their underwear I certainly don't find it surprising more people are opting to just abstain from an intimate encounter all together.  Personally for me I prayed on my situation last year.  I prayed that once the one person I was intimate with no longer was in the picture that I would have done things in such moderation that I would be able to break the bond of being sexually attracted or involved with anyone.

Well I have kept my vow to myself.  If this final fling is over I am joining the ranks of celibacy too.  Dating is overrated.  Even though I would really like to be in a relationship I can't deal with the drama in trying to be in one.

I've found in recent years men aren't loyal.  They are not forthcoming with their current situation.  My social life for the most part is so boring it could be an open book.  Yes, celibacy as my new thing is definitely a viable option.

Life Reimagined

When things hit they really hit.  I am at a crossroads and really don't know what to do.  I have been looking for a permanent full-time position for almost a year now. 

Personally I feel my education, skills, and abilities are highgly competitive.  Based on the positions I have held in my lifetime I have always been a major contributor.  I know right now the competition is really tough in the area where I am home based.

Thus, I am trying to figure out a way I can relocate to a more lucrative market.  I can type about a 100 words a minute.  I can troubleshoot code like a wiz.  I can clean the heck out of a house.  I can do a lot of things.  In my lifetime with raising three children, having grandchildren of which two I have been very active in their life and serving as a companion aide to my mother with her terminal illness I have become adept at doing  alot of things.  I am that type of person who does extra.

This week by the grace of God I have been staying the past couple of days with a friend.  I am glad he extended the invitation.  I really was at a point where I needed a break.  Strictly platonic and I feel that is most important and best at all.  I am really not at a point in my life where I want to enter into a new fling.

I know on the surface it may look bad to a lot of people just the mere thought of a man and woman being under the same roof.  But I really don't care what people think I know and God knows what is happening. 

In hindsight it seems like a situation that was made in heaven.  Because it is clean and it is allowing for a lot of cleaning.  I don't feel as stressed as I did when I was sitting around at home.  I was frustrated because my grass is way too overgrown and my lawn mower was stolen a while back and I had been paying someone to maintain my yard.  My son is always too busy with school and work to keep it up during daylight hours which is driving me insane. 

Over the past six years with my son being away and then coming back he is not as nice as he used to be and he doesn't even realize it.  We needed a big break from each other as well.  No since in getting into saying a lot of things we may both regret later on.  Our relationship is not by choice it is by force with us being mother and son and all.  I guess even though our relationship reconfirms why me and his father did not make it on so many levels I really need to pray on a way and the peace to make it with him.  I literally can close my eyes and know what his next move or statement is going to be.  At times I feel like I have an unfair advantage.  He has his strengths and he is very bossy and demanding.  We both have very strong personalities and by no means is one of us better than the other of us we just need to work on finding a way to make things mesh. 

He's ready to have me committed and I'm ready to follow the old adage I brought you into this world and I'll take you out.  We have a generation of differences in opinions, attitude, and a whole other boat load of variables.  I try and remember I was young once too and I did consider all my parents had to say as the truth and the light either.

He told me he doesn't want to hear about coupons, he doesn't want to learn how to live poor don't even entertain him with that stuff.  He says God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers and he is in it to go get it.  He told me I need to get my motivation back.  He has job offers and is going to school with a mark against him.  I tell him he's not trying to do it at 50.

I am really trying to do it at 50.  I fill like it is trying to do life reimagined.  Things aren't as easy as they were when I was 29.  When I was 29 a lot of things were different for me.  I had men who adored me that I wish I could have put on lay-a-way for days like this.  At 29 if I was unemployed and couldn't find a job it would have been a non-issue compared to now.

Let me end this here because the way I'm feeling right now sitting here in a public place typing a very personal part of what is happening right now I feel is really pathetic.  Lord I pray things change and real soon.

I am thankful I was blessed with a place to come for a mini retreat for some peace.  Now I am praying that when my son comes back to pick me up (and I hope he does) it will be just as peaceful. 

I am have to start living my life reimagined because things are just not the same.  I'm going to have to woman up and face that.  I hope the people I love will love and trust that I am going through some things right now and I am trying to get it together the best I know how to be a help mate. 

May God bless me in conquering in victory a life reimagined.

The Name is too Familiar not to Take Notice!

Why is America so outraged by the incident with Michael Brown?  I read one report where there were two fatalities a week in America from 2006 to 2012 with incidents similar to that of Michael Brown.  Why so much national attention for this case?

Well in retrospect I think there is one main underlying reason, the familiarity of the name.  A search for how many people there are with the name Michael Brown in Missouri returned a count of 2,269.  Personally in my lifetime right here in Hampton Roads I have seen numerous people named Michael Brown.  Michael Brown is the name of someone a lot of people have lived next door to, went to school with, went to Church with, were best friends with.  Michael Brown is an every day All-American name.

I think every time we hear the name "Michael Brown" in the news it pulls at the heart strings.  What is even more daunting is that the names used separately impacts the familiarity even more with people we know as Michael and don't even let me get started with Brown.  Brown is not only familiar as a last name, it is familiar as a crayon color we learned as early as two years of age.  What color is this?  Brown.  Brown is normally one of the first colors on the color palette that children get right.  The brown dog, the brown bag, there have been numerous children books written for toddlers which heavily use the word "brown".  Heck there is even a sitcom now which is very popular entitled "Meet the Browns."

We have seen a lot of cases in the news of horrific proportions but normally they are attached with names that are sometimes difficult to pronounce.  Furthermore a lot of times it is hard to recall the first and last name.  Even a two year old will probably be able to pronounce and remember the name Michael Brown.

For decades we have had some very famous Michael's who we grew up with.  I remember as a child watching good times and how I adored how the young "Michael" and the affectionate way his mother on the show always said "Michael".  One of the young civil rights activist I had ever witnessed.  And how he would strut around with his chest held out proudly and stood up for what he believed in.

Also, thinking of the name Michael brings to mind the nickname commonly associated with Michael, Mike. Now who doesn't know at least one Mike?  Do you see where I am going with this.

When I heard the results of the second autopsy report today it brought tears to my eyes.  It seems as if the young man was killed execution style.  Now there is a third autopsy being ordered.  The first autopsy they acted like they couldn't count.  The second autopsy they acted as if they couldn't count accurately.  My heart goes out to the friends, family, and acquaintances of Michael Brown because this third autopsy I feel is going to cause more heartache than the previous ones.  

The plan for more leaders to show up in Missouri on Wednesday is a great idea.  The people in this town need a voice to deliver a message that the people are not alone, the police force is not alone, this is and should be one united country which upholds the freedoms of all its citizens.

I am praying that justice is served to the point to comfort the fears, souls, and spirits of all those who are enduring this injustice first hand.  I pray they receive the healing they need to move on and choose peace over violence so they will be around to enjoy justice when it is served.

My heart goes out to the Mother of the victim, Michael Brown, and the father too.  I hope they are made whole from this tragic loss of their son and it eases the pain which is clearly on their face.  If pain had a face I think it would look a lot like the pain on this mother's face and the heartache which shows on the fathers face.  How horrific to know your son was shot down in the street like a wild dog that had mauled someone.

As a mother I wonder what was her last conversation with her son was like.  I wonder did they hug and say have a nice day.  Did he give her a kiss on the cheek and say "I love you Ma!".  Did she encourage him to get out her house because he was getting on her nerves.  Did she challenge him jokingly to go and stay gone? Can you imagine interacting with your son and later finding out it was the last interaction you would have with him on this earth.  How much more did she want to hold him, how much does she wish she was there to console him, how come the things which seemed so big when he was living like cleaning his room, making his bed, taking out the garbage, getting good grades mean so little now.

The opportunities to spend more birthdays, more holidays, more mother son days together will no longer transpire on this earth.  Questions like whether or not to leave a plate at the table for him.  Do you leave his room in tact or box it up.  Do you live in the same complex where your son was shot down or move on.  A child brought into this world by the grace of God and lost to the world at the disgrace of man.

What if they bickering about something really petty.  Could you imagine the pain and hurt from a last moment not being a lasting moment you want to remember?  All I can say is My God, My God, My God.

God help us all because it really seems America is at war with itself.  I thought we had come a long way with race relations.  When incidents like this occur it makes me wonder how far have we really come in regards to race relations.  

What Do You Do When You're In A Jam?

For me I imagined my life at 50 to be a little different and now I'm wondering if I ever really even imagined what life would be like at 50.  This upcoming week will make 20 full years I have been in my current residence.  My home has served as a welcome mat, a revolving door, a domain for two elderly family members, a place for first birthday parties, and a myriad of other things.  What have I learned over those 20 years?  I've learned a lot.  They say there is no test without a testimony.  I have welcomed people into my home who I once considered friends and confidants.

Over the past two years I've spent most of the time in my home alone.  Over the past eight months or so I've welcomed a male friend in my home.  To be honest if I could have my choice of whom I would like to spend the rest of my life with it would be him.  I love his chocolate skin tone, his dry sense of humor which is unlike most brothas, his confidence, and his independence.  I also adore his his intellect and the way we can sit and talk for hours over a cup of coffee and carry on a meaningful conversation.

But I feel like I'm in a jam.  He's been super sweet to even entertain spending time with someone who really has nothing to bring to the table to compliment or enhance and not deplete what he has.  I believe in pulling my own weight.

The thing I love about him the most is he reached out when others pulled back.  I see the phrase "real men" used a lot in context online.  Some people look at what is on the surface to define what a real man is.  I look to see what a man is doing in the trenches.  He has done the work.  And for me personally with being unemployed for almost a year it is tough on me and it hurts like hell to have to let someone who seems to be the prescription the doctor ordered to go unfulfilled.  Just to have someone partially in your corner when everyone else has turned their back on you afraid you might ask them for something because you're unemployed was to me really a blessing.  A lot of times people see what is going on on the surface but they don't see what is going on behind the scenes.

I'm in such a jam and I need not only the prayers of prayer warriors but all the sinners prayers I can get too. There is a whole lot of rebuilding to do.

I am in a jam and I know faith, hope, and perseverance will continually give me the strength to push forward. and keep standing.  I need a opportunities and fast breaks to open up in a lot of areas in my life.  I've been looking for jobs and Lord knows I have applied for many.  It seems to some I am not doing a thing.  Trust and believe I am.

Pray in agreement with me that God will bless me and my family members who are in need of prayer too with the jobs, stability, and business opportunities to succeed.  I am a true believer if there is more than one gathered together in agreement it shall be done.

The dress I have on in this photo was taken on a Friday night.  Normally on Friday nights I go and workout and do a couple hours exercise.  But that old familiar phrase "how do you expect things to be different if you keep doing the same things" so I decided to change up and do something different.  I haven't been out in years.  So I got dressed up and went to my uncles house hoping to get an invite to a birthday party.  But when you're broke and folks know you're broke they don't want to hang with you.  Especially when you're going to a pricey spot.  I thought wearing the dress I have on in the photo would serve as a little hint that I may be broke but I had clothes before I became broke and I can dress up and look presentable to go out. Some people just have no mercy for broke folks.

The look on my face is my missing my boo who even though it may be only about once a month he would come chill with my broke self when he was in town.  I'm missing him and the conversations we would share over a cup of coffee.  The last time he was at my house he asked me "do you have a job yet?".  And it sort of seemed like he showed me a tough love side of him.  I knew it would eventually become an issue.  Good grief it has been a while and I still have no job.   I hope to be in a better place real soon and out of this jam. I am really getting bored being around the house playing dress up.  I'm ready to dress up in business attire and go to work.

My Favorite Dress Not For Looks but Feel

Does this dress make me look fat?  That's a popular question for women.  I am wearing my favorite dress in this photo.  It may me look a little bigger because the material is soft and the way it is designed it has a lot of extra material in it.  It does not cling to my dimples. 

:Let me tell you, my family detests seeing me in this dress.  I love it on those days when I really want to feel relaxed.  The material is very soft and light.

I happened upon buying this dress one day when I was dress shopping a couple of years ago when I was gainfully employed.  It was in a section with some other dresses I saw that day.  It so happened one of my daughters was shopping with me that day and she liked the dress.  And she also picked out another colorful dress for me that day which was paisley.  I felt in love with the way it felt when I tried it on.

Is it not amazing how we often judge things by appearance only.  Just imagine how many things we pass up because of the way it looks.  Heck, we even often pass up people who may have been ideal for us because they weren't tall enough, they weren't skinny enough, they didn't have enough flash, they were too plain, they didn't fit the image we thought our prince charming should look like.

Well this dress looks like something I would have made in a sewing class in grade school.  You know one of those sewing classes where you piece together different pieces of material to make a garment.  I call in my peasant dress.  A couple of people have told me they totally dislike it for that very reason.

I'm trying to learn to take on more challenges that go outside of my norm to venture and do some things different.  I think it was a bold first move to post a photo of me in this attire.

Like the saying goes, you can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.  I am switching up and doing some things different because I definitely need some things to happen a lot differently.  I'm tired of being broke having been out of work on a steady basis for almost a year now.

My focus right now is going to be getting some further education in hopes to network and meet with new people.  I am also going to be concentrating on taking my business from a hobby to a success.  And I definitely know that is going to require a new angle all together.  Since 2005 I have always paid out way more than I probably come close to recouping if I keep doing things as usual.  I would say business as usual but when I think of business I think of making money.

I am still looking for a full-time position where I can be gainfully employed.  My business itself is pretty much a growth venture or at least that is what I want it to be.  When I start selling as many domains, hosting accounts, etc. as the big domain registrars, I will probably be old enough to collect social security by then.

But I do hope to pick up some clients in the very near future who can utilize my customized services in getting  a website designed and developed by me.  I really want to earn and keep a whole  lot of business.  One of the first websites I ever designed was for a Church.  I would welcome the opportunity to set up websites for a Church, club, just about anything someone, a business, club, or group would need a website for.  My prices are negotiable even though they are already very reasonable.

What's your favorite garment?  It can be a conversation starter to let me help you get started with having your own web presence if you don't already.

Do You Have A Website Name? If Not, Why Not?

Let's Get Started!  

1. Go to Websites4Sell.com (do you recognize the swimsuit model?)

 

2.  Register a new domain name.  Enter the name you would like to have for your domain in the text box (I have placed a red arrow on the screen shot).  Then click the search button. 

3. Availability.  Hopefully you will get good news that the domain you typed in is available.  Either way, you will be presented with other recommendations.

4.  Keep it Moving!  Select the "Continue to Cart" button until you come to the final screen which will have a "Proceed to Checkout" button.

5.  Review Your Order! Very important step before you spend your money!

6.  Confirm and Pay!  Payment Method Options will be available

7.  Check Your Email!  After the sale you will receive a thank you and a confirmation email with instructions on using the new product(s) you have purchased.  I hope you enjoy your purchase.  Keep the momentum going. 


I hope you enjoy your new website!  If you want to share it with others reading this post add a comment and include a link to your new website.

Thank you!  Please refer me to any businesses, friends, enemies, acquaintances, or people next door looking to have a website or purchase web products.  Feel free to contact me at (757) 932-0053 if I can be of any assistance.

I Really Feel Violated!

There is actually something a lot worse than being #1 at what you do when haters competitors and other interested parties thinking you're #1 at what you do and trying to sabotage or destroy you by any means necessary.  But I'm going to take the high road (after venting a little more) and pray about it.

It is no secret I love computers.  My love of computers inspired me to start my own computer related services company years ago.  I have always wanted to own a growth venture.  Unfortunately, it has been nothing more than an expensive hobby that I love and enjoy.

Well right now today I am feeling some kind of way.  There is a lady on my FACEBOOK page who I feel is abusing her power as a public official to spy on every aspect of my existence.  And it really hurts wondering if the real reason for all this mayhem is because of a man she is interested in.  At one point I was contemplating whether or not I should say something to him.  But watch the video for my decision on that.



Let me tell you this past week or so has been a week.  I even had one very unprofessional person text me a message with the acronym "BS" in it.  It landed in the message box of someone with higher authority.

All this reality show type drama I'm just not up for it.  However, it did inspire me to create a video message.

WATCH IT!

44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:44 (KJV)

I am humming one of my favorite gospel songs:  "His eye is on the Sparrow and I know he watches me!"

Be blessed.

Some Folks Get It and Some Folks Don't

When we come to a crossroads in our life it is a time of a lot of reflecting.  I was drafting a post to my daughter for FACEBOOK and then decided not to post it, mainly due to the length and then so I decided to turn it into a blog post.  Here goes:

Lauren I agree you are way beyond your years in maturity.  You are rare in that you are a born go-getter and don't need to be taken to the well for water to drink.  You are the type that goes out and finds your own water and will dig your own well if you have to.  Others, not so much so.  

Life also has those who will wait for you to fetch the water, bring the water to them, get them a cup, pour it in the cup for them, put the cup up to their mouth, and leave you hoping they will at least sip it.  

And then there will be others who will not even sip or swallow and you have to inject fluid into their veins to keep them from dehydrating.  Then they surmise your supply should always be full even when they keep draining it.  Then please but please don't feel some kind of way or catch an attitude because they not expecting anything more than what you've always done.  But rather it is I who is expecting too much.  And if I start feeling some kind of way I am the one with the attitude.

Life is full of surprises and people will surprise you.  You don't have full control over another person's actions.  And you definitely don't have control over their reaction.  

We all go through different challenges, and at times ups and downs and maybe even some crazy turnarounds. But life goes on and we have to keep moving forward and make the best of it. 

The way some folks treat you will leave you filling drained and like you're in a rut.  But the key is to keep pressing forward regardless.  Just think if they didn't see the strength or the resource in you they probably wouldn't be coming to you.  

Look at the bright side and try and tap into all that energy they fill you are full of and make it work for you.  Yes some people are mature beyond their years and some have some catching up to do.  But in all times I am hoping I am moving forward in Godspeed.

What Happens When You Miss the Chance to Get on Top?

One thing I have come to realize is that in life there exists a lot of opportunities to be on top.  In a relationship whether it is a working relationship, a personal relationship, a spiritual relationship, a professional relationship, or a romantic relationship.  By nature most people seem to be very competitive these days.  I really think all these reality television shows have ruined America making wanting to be competitive and the drive to be on top to run rampant.

The one quote which comes to mind is the infamous the bigger they are the harder they fall.  I remember my glory days in real estate.  It was between the years of 2005 and 2008.  Things were going really well for me.  I was making a lot of money and spending a lot of money too.  I had advertising costs, all types of costs and expenses to the maximum.

The irony of some situations sometimes seem surreal.  The bulk of my business was from distressed property sales.  I was elated when I started receiving the homes in the $300K plus dollar range.  They most often meant a bigger commission.  I remember at times I was receiving 44 inquiries a month I could not handle.  My phone was ringing so much at times I literally wanted to throw it out the window of my car as I drove down the highway.

I worked from sun up until sun down and beyond.  I recall putting in many 21 hour days.  I was keeping it together by paying for cleaning services. I was keeping my laundry up by utilizing the services of the cleaners to do my clothes.  I was keeping my hair up by utilizing the services of beauty salon at the mall that I could go to on Sundays and later in the evening into the nights if I went during the week.

I was too busy for myself to keep up with myself and it eventually won the best of me.  One valuable lesson I learned from it all was to pace myself.  I was getting older and my mind was still sharp and very competitive.  I felt like my soul crashed when everything came to a head.

Later I realized I had too many stressful issues going on all at the same time.  My father passed, my son was incarcerated, my mother was terminally ill, and I wasn't keeping a good work/life balance at all and as I was trying to fix it dang it I got sick.  

I had goals and objectives in mind and it seemed like everything around me was tumbling down.  Thankfully at the time money was not one of my issues.  As time progressed it became an issue.  A couple of years later I found myself entering the work-a-day world.  It seemed because of all I had on my plate it didn't looking appetizing to the powers that be and I was blacklisted.

I struggled and tried hold steadfast in hopes that someone would realize I was working as hard as I ever did and give me a fighting chance.  The older I get it seems the fewer the chances seem to be.  The 50 and over crowd seems to not be in high demand when it comes to employment opportunities.

Then I wonder is it punishment for all the opportunities I forfeited.  I have been presented with some wonderful opportunities in my life where if I had stuck it out I may have had my chance at the top.  It seems when turbulence presented itself because I was black or because I was a woman or just because someone found in their heart not to like me I took the position to move on.  Heck my parents fought for equal rights and I wasn't about to reignite the fight.  Because of their struggles I knew there were places to work that I didn't have to tolerate being treated any kind of way or anything I didn't feel comfortable with.  If there was a cause that needed a fight I didn't have the time to fight it because I wanted to be somewhere there was a straight arrow to the top.

Age has made me realize that is just totally unrealistic.  Even in personal and/or romantic relationships that doesn't happen.  You can look right but you better be looking left too.  There will be roadblocks and detours.  There will be some turbulence especially at the times I want the waves to be smooth.

I have come to realize there can be someone who you want to be number one with.  Someone else who you want to be on top when it comes to them.  However, it is not always reciprocated.

One thing that is funny to me is the old saying goes one way to get over one man is to get on top of another one.  I am sitting here pondering well what happens when you never did get on top literally or figuratively? Why do the feelings of needing to get over it even arise?  

My Throwback Thursday Moment

Throwback moment!

I am thankful my parents and grandparents were for blacks.  I see so many black people demean other blacks in regards to their ethnicity and it is really disheartening.  I came from a race of people who did things they didn't want to do so we could have the privilege to do more of what we want to do.

They were strong proponents of doing the right thing.  They did not preach hatred because collectively they had friends of different ethnic backgrounds.  And on all sides they had at least one grandparent who were not black.  I say not black because not all dark skinned people were from Africa.  Some were of island descent.

Some black people when they consider they have arrived are quick to demean the choices other blacks make which cause harm to no one. If you don't like women who wear fake hair, or any other thing fake about them so be it.  You have the right to choose.

If I didn't have children and grandchildren I would post a nude photo with a wig on to show hair doesn't define my blackness.  As a child I remember my grandmother and great-grandmother purchasing wigs from Gayle's Wigs and Things in Norfolk.  They wore the wigs underneath their fabulous hats.  The brims around the hats would most often cause their natural hair to sweat and their curls to droop.  They wore them to Church.  I think they were made right here in America during that time.  They were more expensive back then.  Over time I think the hair extension and wig industry became something which was outsourced because they could be made cheaper and faster elsewhere.

I don't recall women losing the edges around their hair from the older type wigs.  I guess when they started being mass produced some of the quality was reduced.  Other nations got in on the market later on.

The color of my skin, my blackness is real regardless.  Personally, I make the mistake of wearing a wig during the winter months because my hair is thin and my head gets cold quickly.  Then my hair breaks off and I have to regrow it. It normally grows back to a good length by the time winter rolls around again.  Each year I say I'm going to brave it and just wear a hat on the really cold days to keep my natural length but then as it gets colder I give in.  The next thing I know summer is here again and I wear just my own hair.

What someone puts on or wears on their head does not define their ethnicity.  Yes there is an industry making billions of dollars on fake hair.  If you work for it you should be able to spend your money on whatever you want.  For those men who don't like women who wear fake hair don't date one.

I can think of other industries were blacks spend a whole lot more but I don't hear no one complaining.  I spend most of my spare change now sending money to my son who is in a system which was not designed by my people or for the uplift of my people nor to help their appearance.  I can think of an industry which I think is probably the biggest industry in America which gets a whole lot black people money and it is rate of return is murder, gangs, theft, blight, and a whole lot of other negative stuff to the black families which I think some people are smoking and it is not even legal.

Personally, I like to see people look their best.  And there are a whole lot of people I think look a lot better with extensions, wigs, or extra touches to boost their appearance.

There are those black people who neglect to recognize, uplift, and uphold the struggle that allowed blacks to have opportunities open for them.  You don't have to dwell in it but you don't have to set people back 100 years either.  When they get a slap of reality they want to run back to the black community to champion their fight.  Give me a break.  There is something we can find not to like about everyone.  But I was always taught to look for at least one thing to like about everybody.  Now there are some people I personally do just want to give chaos but it is normally people who act like they are ashamed of being black.  People who want to fit in so well with another ethnicity they shun their own people.

I okay I'm stepping down off my soap box now because even though I ranted today I know with me there is a still a whole lot of work to do.