Saturday, May 21, 2011

Four Letter Word Fury

When my children were around two they found the ability to use four letter words (curse words) very funny and cute.  We normally corrected them and told them it was a "bad word". 

Well as my children got older and had to learn to deal with situations on their own, I would often charge them not to use four letter words in anger.  Even if the person they are having an argument or debate with is using curse words don't they do it. 

I've always felt when someone uses four letter words out of anger it shows more ignorance than anything else.  It is a clear indication they do not know how to handle conflict.  Often times it is not a conflicting situation at all it is just they don't know how to handle or conduct themselves.  I've always encouraged my children not to stoop down to the level of angry people but rise above and maintain control and use big words.

They learned using the big words at times which would otherwise be of anger or frustration from their mother.  Every time me and my ex would get into a heated discussion the more heated the more complex the words.  My children would often chuckle when he would pause to ask what did you say or use real words.  My children already knew the words I was using were real.  His vocabulary was just limited. 

I began reading to my children when they were in my womb.  I normally spent at least an hour each night reading to them.  I would have them read a novel on Saturdays prior to going outside to play.   I constantly bought them educational videos, educational games, and educational computer software. 

Basically I have no respect for people who curse in a working environment.  I think it is totally unprofessional, inexcusable, and just down plain wrong.

I remember when I taught business and computer classes at night I would always tell my students we only use business etiquette in my class.  No cursing.  It only shows a sign of ignorance if you do not have anything more appropriate to say. 

I will never forget this one lady I taught, her mouth was filthy.  She had a rough upbringing.  It took some one-on-one discussions to calm her vocabulary down.  I basically told her from seeing how she interacted with others she was a beautiful person she just needed to focus on maintaining control in any situation.  Don't let what she perceives as frustrating to get the best of her. 

By the time of her graduation she had calmed down a 100%.  Her final paper in my class she included a personal message thanking me for helping her to realize there's no need to always seeing the glass half empty.  Whatever happens take it and roll with it.  She was too young to be so consumed with anger.

Now I realize there are extenuating circumstances at time.  Most importantly I've learned not to retaliate back if someone blatantly curses me out.  From years ago when I was at the end of my non-profit position in housing, one of the reasons I strongly wanted to leave was because one of the counselors was terribly miserable.  At the time I did not realize she was going through anything.  She was complaining about me making more money than the counselors as a Senior Administrative Specialist.  One day when my boss said in an open meeting I was the only who was on track to receive the new 7.5 percent raise which was enacted I knew things were going to be even more miserable so I resigned after having applied for a different job in a different field altogether.

I've never really liked being around misery in any shape, form, or fashion.  Later on I found out the lady was going through some very personal things is why she was acting and reacting the way she was. 

I was thankful for the experience because it since taught me when some behaves badly it may not be based on what is happening right now right in front of you.  It may have a whole lot of baggage with it.  I am quick to just be the one to shut up.  Especially if it is something I said and it was really not that big of a deal for someone to get all discombobulated over.

The only thing I fear is God.  At times I am outdone myself because of it.  I wish I was a scary person. 

As long as someone doesn't put their hands on me I'm good.  They blow up, act out, shout, do whatever turns them on.  Like the saying goes sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.