You Can't Fix Ugly

The holiday seasons are upon us.  People are losing weight, sending out invites, not inviting others.

You can lose all the weight you want.  But you can't fix ugly.  Most people who read this probably think I mean you can't fix ugly when it comes to appearance.  No I mean you apparently can't fix ugly sometimes when it comes to your actions.

Some people's ill ways are so much a part of them they cannot be fixed.  You know the ones who instead of spreading joy during the holiday season spread hate, discord, and discontent.  Those scrooges who invite certain people to functions and exclude others.  Those who have a email list for a group of folks in the same arena and choose to leave some folks off.

Most of the time those who don't make the list are the ones who they fear will out shine them.  If you are one of the ones who are omitted from the invite list or email list just know that our God is all knowing.  And if you had nothing else to be thankful for on Thanksgiving (even though I am sure anyone who is reading this has a lot to be thankful for) be thankful you don't have to account for the actions of others.

The only list I know personally I live my life to make is the list to be pleasing in God's sight.  I don't believe in exclusion.  I treat all people according to the content of their character.  I can deal with characters too.  Especially those who are smug enough to think they have the upper hand when doing wrong or misdeeds.  I want my character to be one groomed for the upper room.  I don't have to exclude anyone.  I don't believe in ascertaining "conflict of interest" to make others look they have an issue when it is really you who have an issue.

I remember when my ex had a profession which made him mean as a rattlesnake.  I told him it was either me or the job.  Thankfully the Lord had prepared our way so we could live off one income.  My income at the time was sufficient enough to pay the household bills and both car payments.  He didn't have an issue with telling folks my wife takes good care of me.  He took excellent care of me in all the ways that mattered.  He had a circle.  Either you were in or you weren't.  He didn't give a care about anyone outside of his circle.

The only circle I know is love.  One pastor summed it up like the ring that signifies a bond it has no beginning or no end.  I was taught to not kiss butt.  However, I was also taught to love everyone no matter what.  When you dislike someone they dislike you more my grandmother would always tell me.  So I learned to get out of the habit of likes and dislikes because as a child I would wear it out at times.

I remember when I was gainfully employed over 15 years ago now I told one co-worker that I did not like someone else who worked at the same location.  She immediately told me never to say who I like or don't like in a work environment.  Today, I don't even remember who it was I disliked.

For me I realized a long time ago it takes too much away from me as a person to dwell on my emotions.  I can't control the actions of others.  The best way to handle folks who act like characters is to just leave them alone.  Apparently they get their jollies off of just being annoying. 

How some days I do wish people would realize when they live life through their emotions it makes them appear desperate.

During the holiday season it seems some people feel compelled to make small talk.  Why would you want to make small talk with someone who you exclude or who excludes you from selectively.  Those type of people I wish wouldn't say anything at all to me.  Trust and believe I don't go out of my way to say anything at all to them.

I don't bother people.  Especially ill will folks.  Nobody needs you to try and pacify them.  You need to look at the person in the mirror.

Anyone who knows me knows I keep it real.  I don't like phony folks.  I don't like folks who go around spreading hate, discord, and discontent in the guise of spreading cheer and act like you are superior to exclude folks selectively and think they are going to show up to events with your approval.  You don't run me.

If you don't like what I write in my blog, don't read it.  This is one obligation you do not have.

I put God first in all I do.  There is hardly anything I can recall doing where I didn't pray first or there wasn't some type of divine intervention involved.  I love my children.  There are other folks I love as well.  I know unselfish and unconditional love.   Your ill feelings or actions toward me or others because of their relationship with me are your own issues.  I don't bother no one so I know I haven't done anything to you.

As long as I can stand in the love of the holy father who has been all amazing and magnificent to me, I don't need to be a part of your twisted thought out circle.  I seek divine approval.


I stay clear of people who act in desperation.  I was always taught desperate people will hurt you.  Once I have seen too many people being hurt by the antics of someone I have enough sense to keep my distance.   Especially when someone does it to people they call their friends I know what they are capable of trying to do to me and I'm not their friend nor do I want to be their friend.

I don't use the term friend wisely.  My friend bank consists of "true friends".  There is a big difference.  One worth learning.

You can't fix ugly.  Your aura speaks volumes.

A Problem I'm Glad to Have!

When my children were in school I use to always reward them monetarily for each "A" they received.  In fact, I gave them money based on a sliding scale from A's to B's.  Well now they have two children a piece.

Now I have a perplexing problem.  I can't afford to pay them based on each "A".  One made straight A's.  Another one hit it with one B and the grades went a little down from there but overall with six grandchildren (each of my children has two children) I can't afford to pay out based on A's.  How glad I am I didn't offer the same pay scale to them. This is divine intervention working at its best. 

I'm just hopeful with all the great sales this weekend I am able to find them something of quality that will suffice as a reward that will help to encourage them to keep up the great work.  And for those grades which were not so hot, they definitely have the aptitude and can get it in.  They got other awards as well like for perfect attendance.  They are keeping up with a tradition.  My oldest daughter missed maybe one day of school in throughout her whole school year combined.  But she missed almost every day of class her freshman year in college.  Oh well, she's finally started back and I hope and pray she musters the strength to do it to the maximum.

Well I am proud Grandma. Being a Grandma is likened to reliving everything I went through with my own children; however, this time around I can do it with a smile on my face.  No staying up late all night to assist with projects, no calling off spelling words for spelling tests, no calling off timetables.

Since they all like getting together and creating a whole lot of noise.  Oh yes we are going to celebrate at Grandma's place.  Pizza (which causes Grandma Heartburn), Menu is easy, cake (which adds to the area which was once Grandma's waistline), and Ice Cream (to drive Grandma up the wall once all the sugar gets in the young scholars' systems).   Now is just no time to do the healthy food thing.  Well in support of all the healthy kid initiatives I will offer fruit and vegetables as finger food.  I want to keep the adrenaline flowing for more A's.

Love them babies!  Kisses, kisses, and more kisses to each and every one of my dear smart hearts we are on the A train!    I got it too easy because my effort consists of the total sum this quarter of just getting them together to celebrate their accomplishments.  Go Lynne's Grandchildren!  Grandma thinks you guys are truly grand!  I know you think I'm crazy but what are fun Grandma's for?

Yes.  I do have two grandchildren who read my blog.  Let them read all their young hearts desire.  You girls are outstanding.  The guys rock too! Kudos, kudos, kudos!!!  I love each and everyone!

Grandma Lynne's house where the only rule is for the grandchildren is to party like its 1999.  Two birds with one stone, let me get out the invites to them now, Christmas Tree decorating party at Grandma's. 

Don't End Up with A Hot Mess

Oh my goodness!  It's ranting time.  I was just thinking this evening when someone inquired about my services.  Well, my best words of advice are:  "Don't end up with a hot mess." 

Too often lately I've seen where companies have opted to utilize the services of firms which apparently have more of the fluff they are looking for.  As we all know everything that glitters is not gold. 

My years of "functional" experience speaks very loudly and clearly.  If you already have a mess why add more junk to the pile? 

If you pay for the services of a top computer related services company make sure what you are being served is not a pound of balogna.  But unfortunately you may be unaware.

One company I offered my services to.  Mind you me a very rare undertaking anyone who knows me knows I don't offer verbally to do much often.  I'm normally kept busy with others who feel they need my services.  Thankfully, things normally work themselves out.

Get back to the hot mess.  A company who was ranked very well locally and nationally hired a firm to redesign their website.  Well, now they are not ranked at all.  Do I call them up and say, hey I told you so.  I did include in my presentation not to opt for a product that was graphic based.  Did they listen to me?  No.

Well the other needless thing to say I can tell their capture rate has dropped to a third of about what it used to be.  The competition is blowing them out the water.  I imagine my price would have been about 10% of what they paid for a phenomenal amount of more capture.

My advice:  If you have hire a web design company check your ranking before, during, and after deployment of your new website.  Make sure if you are paying them to maintain it you keep tabs of what they are actually maintaining.  If they set the site up so that it is user friendly enough for you to maintain.  Make sure you make an effort to keep it fresh.  When you stop keeping it fresh you'll end up with a hot mess as well.  Don't set it and forget.  Nurture it and keep it growing.

Your site is what you make it.

Lynne Ruffin
T/A Web Styles
Owner/Operator
Norfolk, Virginia  23509
www.Web-Styles.com
Phone:  (757) 542-5108
Email:  Lynne@Webstyles.com

Lose Yourself Locally

I had a real treat last evening.  The fine dining experience I had last night at Ruth Chris in Virginia Beach, Virginia was one I thoroughly enjoyed.

Okay my buddy cancelled on our plans to go to the Redskins Dallas game the end of December.  Well, I said as a constellation I wanted to go to Ruth Chris. I had heard about how nice the restaurant was from other colleagues. However, I had never been.

Well when opportunity presented itself, not at my expense, I thought that's where I want to go.  I am so glad I did.

The Porterhouse Steak for two was in my opinion awesome.  It came served on a 520 degree hot plate.  We were forewarned not to touch.  We had scalloped potatoes, asparagus, an appetizer.

Delicious?  Yes. 

Oh I can add. Next, a trip to Jamaica in January, yes.  I'll be missing the game of the decade.  I need a before and after to soften the blow of being let down.