Call It Communication 401!

Grandma, You Got A Story About Everything!  I often hear that comment from my oldest two granddaughters.  I spend more time with them than anyone else these days.  We go out shopping together, we go out eating together, at times we exercise together, we are planning on starting to enter marathons together.

They will be entering middle school this upcoming year.  Boy I can't wait.  I keep telling them it is going to be night and day difference from primary school.  They haven't lived it so they can't envision it.  One claims to be Harvard bound to get a law degree.  The other won't give you a clue as to what her future goals are.  A couple of  years ago it was I don't know yet.  I just guess that yet still has not arrived. In retrospect it is almost scary that she doesn't know yet. 

My youngest child knew she wanted to go to Paris France and become a fashion designer by her middle school years.  My son wanted to be a History Teacher.  My oldest well, she didn't know.  It was one of those I have plenty of years to think about that let me get through school first.

A dreamer normally dreams about what they see themselves doing in the future.  A realist often times deals with the here and now.  What do you call someone who does not lack ambition but has no concrete future plans. 

I remember when I got old enough to go to middle school I felt I was a day away from being able to be out on my own.  I recall saying to my grandmother I can't wait to finish school so I could leave and never come back.  My future goal was to be a child psychiatrist at that point in my life.  I wanted to make sure that in the future whenever I did have children I would have all the right education and resources to make them as well rounded as possible.  I wanted to understand them and make them the best people they could be.  I loved children.  I was really good with children growing up.  I used to babysit.  When ever I had the opportunity I had the patience to teach children to read, write, and do math beyond their years.  My grandmother even used to tell me often I would never have children because I was too good with them.

With my granddaughters I feel like I am at a higher level of communication.  I call it Communication 401 because I'm still learning.  The world has changed drastically.  I feel sorry that they have to endure so much more nonsense than I or my children had to endure.  Peer pressure is fierce.  We now have to worry about them be pressured for drugs, substance abuse, sex, sexual orientation, gang membership and Lord only knows what else. 

Grand children are grand.  They are like little precious diamonds internally welded in your heart and soul.  Most people see no wrong their own children do.  When it comes to grandchildren it is different.  You see all the wrong they do but it is not wronged if you get my drift.  Children will even comment you would have never let me get away with saying that.  Or you would have never let me get away with doing that.  I remember the looks I would give my children and my eyes would tell them you better not do that.  It makes for good when you be conditioning them with your looks not to chastise their own child in front of me.  It amazes me how it just seems so coincidental I'm standing behind one of my grandchildren when I know their mother is about to lose it smiling.  My children are more authoritative and disciplinarians than I am myself.  They have no mercy.  A child is supposed to be a child. 

My grandchildren are not bad.  They do silly stuff, stuff to see how far they can go, one has a mouth all her own.  They don't do any outwardly bad acts of behavior.  Just little random get on your nerve type stuff. 

For the most part they just like to have fun.  The one who likes to have the most fun just says "Grandma Lynne you're funny."  She thinks I'm the mess.  She has let me know several times her other grandmother is nothing like me.  I'm the funny Grandma and the other one doesn't act silly like me.

Some Folks will Step Over, On Top, or Across You to Get What They Want

"Don’t reach across my plate, if you want the salt just ask for it and I’ll pass it to you!”  Have you ever heard those words?  Well, many times as a young person I heard those words.  Those times when I had something on my plate that I really wanted to sprinkle salt on and just started reaching.  It would definitely get your hands popped if you were reaching across my grandmother.  Pushed or shoved if reaching across another child.  People don’t like you reaching across their plate of food or the food placed on the table.  It is amazing how the little lessons we learn as a child can give us insight, guidance, and understanding into the things we face as an adult.   The lesson I took from this was “stay in my lane.”  Unfortunately (maybe) we have those all across the road drivers.  Those who will speed pass you to get to where they’re going are living recklessly and you be like hoping and praying I hope they don’t hit my car.   They’re driving like a bat let loose and here you go hoping they don’t crash into and drag you along to the fire they must be going to put out somewhere.  Needless to say, I detest overly aggressive drivers. 

Well getting back to my topic.  It’s strange how I came across the topic for this blog.  We were out having dinner.  My granddaughters had ordered the buffet and my mother and I did a Buy One Get one Free (BOGO) dinner.  Well anyways, my granddaughter who was sitting closest to me and on the inside of the same booth seat next to me kept getting up to go to the buffet.  I don’t normally sit beside her but I didn’t want to go through the ordeal of her kicking me under table claiming it wasn’t her during the meal because after having worked, gone to a 2 o’clock appointment and then going to pick my mom up to take her for her pre-surgery instructions with her doctor, then to get her pre-surgery lab work done, then going back across town to pick up my two granddaughters from camp, then back to pick my mom up.  On top of things having gone badly for my mom I was too over anything but resting.  Well, my grand child who will challenge your level of tolerance the most kept getting up so when I needed a napkin I just reached for it.  Somehow the thought came across my mind some people will step over you, step on top of you, or step across you to get what they want.  It became a topic of discussion at the table as well.   My eldest grandchild let me know she had a story in that regards that she wanted to share with me at a later time.  She just gave me a brief introduction.  
 

I wonder if the people who will step on you, step over you, or step on top of you ever got their hands slapped for reaching over folk for the salt?  It brought back memories for me.  My grandma was quick to slap your hand if you reached across her.  Normally she would be sitting at the breakfast table with the news on while at the same time reading the newspaper.  I usually tried to reach for the salt or pepper in a manner not to let her know that is what I was doing.  It seemed I caught that slap every time.  She would be so enthralled in the paper and the news reports I thought she wasn’t cognizant of my actions.   I had already been asking her to pass the salt. And if I would yell so she could hear me then I got fussed out for yelling at her.  Hey all I wanted was the salt.  

In my lifetime I have encountered who people who will step over, on, or across another person to get what they want.  Some folks are focused on their master plan and they will make any strategic move they feel necessary to get where, what, or who they want.  I’ve had ladies who I felt were in my corner get close to my man.  I’ve had people bad mouth me to get an opportunity and knock me out the running.  I’ve had people do unscrupulous things under the thought they would be able to later hold something over my head.  The unfortunate thing a lot of times they don’t even think twice about it or even care how it impacts others.  The act of reaching across, over, on top of others seems to just be second nature to them.

I have one friend who always proclaims he will eat anybody’s cookies.  Why are some people like that?  Yes of course it takes all types of people to make the world go round.  But I often wonder what is in a person’s soul that they feel it is okay.   These modern times has made some of these folks really act out.  Like they will hack your website, they will hack your email messages, they will hack your phone calls.  Folks nowadays will even order a key to your vehicle and scavenge through your car while it is parked in your driveway.  Unfortunately it seems to be happening so much that law enforcement cannot keep up and prosecute against this type of behavior.  I personally feel locales would make more money from law enforcement if they start putting their efforts more towards cyber criminals and phone hackers in lieu of the time and energy they expend on roads luring and waiting for people to speed. 

I am a firm believer of and also a firm believer to have a complete team you must have people who think, feel, and act differently to get a full 360 degree benefit of a viable solution that will impact the masses in a positive way.  If you just hang with or talk to like-minded people you never grow because you don’t know what others are doing.  My advice, stay in shape because you're going to need a strong stomach.  You never know what you're going to get fed full circle.

Even though I don’t have it in my heart to practice the behavior of reaching over, across, or on top of someone to get what I want I have a little admiration for those who do.  It takes a certain type of core that I don't have.  I figure with my brains if I had it I would be super rich.  They seem to be the ones who favorably get ahead.  They don’t have to have the education, skills, or ability.  They mainly just have the gift of GAB which I always laugh at my own personally coined acronym for GAB as standing for Gossiping All Busybodies (to keep it clean but the A and B words I use are quite different).   They seem to network to keep other folks uneasy, unhappy, and on the edge.  Thankfully when you understand the madness you can deal with it a lot better.  

If you are experiencing trials and tribulations stay encouraged.  People are going to talk.  And from what I’ve seen in my lifetime the ones who have the gift of gab are the most vicious of them all.  They will step over, on, or across you to get a promotion, get you a demotion, to get that man you want, to keep others thinking lowly about you.  There’s a fine line between them and haters.  

Trust God, stay in the faith, God is all knowing and all seeing.  One of my favorite sayings is “trouble don’t last always”.  What is done in the dark (darkness) always comes to the light.  Look towards the light.  Negativity is the biggest energy drainer.  So keep it positive.  You can interact with these type of people because you learn a lot from what they say as to how to and not to treat others.  Don't become the door mat learn how to and how not to talk about others and just be careful not to become a victim.  Just claim and live the victory you are wonderfully and uniquely made to be.

People can make their mouths say anything.  If you have the naysayers in and around in your life the best thing you can do is show them love.  Love hides all faults.  Life, you have to live it, and it is not a matter of whether you win or lose it is how you play the game.  Yes there are those people who will make you feel like physically throwing a rule book at them.  Playing by the rules doesn’t always guarantee a win.   It may just be an in your face lesson as to how the game is played.  Walk away with grace and dignity.  No need to let your character go over things you have no control over.  If you have control that's a whole different matter.  Usually snakes sneak up and inject their venom before you even knew they were coming.  They're too low to the ground to read a rule book.  Me personally, I believe in the old-fashioned hard work ethic.  I believe if someone truly loves you competing for their love is so far removed.  You can love but to be loved you have no personal control over.  If your partner doesn't trust you enough to believe in you and let the things people say and do to snake him away well its best to let go and move on.  Personally, I don't want a man to be mine unless he is also going to be my best friend. 

There will even be times when you get disqualified and those breaking the rules get to play on.  Don’t cry over spilled milk, pick up and move to a clean playground.

I wasn't raised by a politician.  Nor by a person trying to shatter the glass ceiling.  I was raised by a no non-sense person who had a strong persona and believed in schooling children on the difference between what was right and wrong.

When All Else Fails - Trust God!

Lord knows there are those days when the scales of sanity are weighed down by those storms you don't see coming.  But Lord I am asking, praying, hoping, and putting my trust in you.  On this day I am praying for the strength to keep my head held high.  To be a rock for my family for where they are weak.  Lord knows I wanted to drown my sorrows last night in a bottle of wine.  However, I am glad I had the eternal strength to let it go.

Some news we could never prepare ourselves for.  Out of love and respect for those impacted I won't publicize the source of my pain.  Lord you know my heart and I ask that you not only comfort my heart but comfort theirs as well.  This too shall past.  It is times like these which will draw us nearer to you.  We put our trust in you. 

I remember during the most tumultuous times in my life when I shared my pain with my grandmother she would always say "Trust God".  Lord today I am trusting in you to relieve this hurt and pain in my heart.  It is always so hard when good people are faced with tough blows life sometimes delivers.  The punch has been thrown and the pain has been felt.  Lord on this day I ask you to mend and heal the hearts impacted.  Lord heal the bodies where they are weak and strengthen them.  Lord I am asking on this day that you touch this situation.  I know you can step in at the 11th hour and perform a miracle.  Lord we need more miracle delivering grace.

Let the joy of salvation override the underlying emotions I have of being mad, hurt, upset, angry, frustrated, pissed off, tired, disgruntled, confused, overwhelmed, discouraged.  Lord I really need to trust in you today to get through this.  Sleeping last night was like sleeping on a bed of nails.  I can draw strength from that because it reminds me you were nailed to the cross for us.

On this day I pray you give me the strength to make it through the day.  Every time I think about it makes me feel powerless.  I want to hold him and her and say everything is going to be alright, God has this.  But I can't stop crying myself.  I hate seeing bad things happen to good people.  Lord I know it may be a test of faith and right now I'm failing miserably.  Thank goodness I had the peace and solitude to be alone last evening. God it hurts.  When the people you love go through things you can touch or help them with it hurts.  It is an awful feeling of powerlessness.  I need to be strong for them.  My heart is heavy.  What keeps coming to mind is the Bible verse: 

"when I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice and,I am persuaded, is in thee also." --2 Timothy 1:5 21st Century King James Version.

  Lord I need the unfeigned faith, the strength to deal with situations that seem impossible, the power from within to deal with this. 

I'll be praying and praising you today Lord not only for the things that are going wrong.  I will be sending up praise because at times like these it is a painful reminder that maybe I haven't sent up enough praise for all the things that have gone right.  Lord I need you.

The advice my Grandmother Lois would always give me when things were going right or wrong was "Trust God.  He knows all, he sees all and everything is going to be alright."

Lord I'm powerless, I'm praying for you to make things right.  You're a miracle worker and our family is in need of a couple of miracles right now.  

Take Stock in Your Employees!

Are you familiar with the line "You Are What You Eat!” well what happens when you are the grower!  Are you what you grow?  And with that being said, the question for today is: "How do you grow your workforce?"

During my professional career I have had the opportunity to work for some really great places.  One thing I've realized from working for over 30 years is the companies with the best employee morale are the ones whose employees are empowered with the knowledge, skills, and ability to do their job well.

How can employers help to build up their employee morale in this regards?  Well, I have a few suggestions. 

1.  Offer on-site training on an ongoing basis:

Employees like to collaborate in a group setting.  It gives them an opportunity to break away from the norm of sitting inside a cubicle all day, share experiences, share ideas, share what's happening in their area of responsibility or authority.  One hour a day to break into focus groups to improve technical skills for a few months out of the year would be a major investment with a huge return.  A workforce built on staying competitive with the latest knowledge, training, coaching, and conditioning to be competitive at all times.  Some employees were tested and hired when the first Microsoft Office Suite of products was launched.  Now here we are many versions later and some employees have not even had an opportunity to take any updated training to be able to realize how they can do their job better.

2.  Stop judging a book by its cover:

We often hear the old cliché "You Can't Teach Old Dog New Tricks!”  Well, I beg to differ (no pun intended).  I just thought the graphic was absolutely adorable.  We had a few full blooded Cocker Spaniels during my childhood.  The world is evolving.  We have a more diverse work force in regards to all demographics.  If diversity training needs to be one of your main focuses do that as well.  Business policies, practices, and procedures that may have worked yesterday are not the best practices for today.  Allow employees the latitude to make a difference in other ways.  Some employees thrive on helping others.  Businesses in the forefront are not only helping their business they are helping non-profits, schools, community organizations, the unsung hero in today's society seems to be the companies who give back.  What better way to attract and hire new employees who start believing in your company based on your public image?  For a person, beauty is only skin deep and for a company future success is knee deep in what you give back.  Investing in the local community is an investment in the betterment of the whole area.  Get on board and see how your organization can not only make a difference in its business offerings but its public service offerings as well.  Contacts and networking have become valuable tools.  Time has is a very precious commodity.  You want to handle it like the jewel it is and make the best use of it for the best business purposes.  Be a power player in the connections Social Media provides.  Social media has shown us people from all walks of life can come together on the same platform and make a huge success out of it.

3.  Keep the dialogue open for future and further improvement:

 Businesses cannot afford to operate in a shell nowadays.  There is so much happening in and around the world that to remain competitive a company or organization really has to be competitive.  Don't just talk about it be about it type philosophy.  Ideas are the cornerstone of innovation, fresh new ideas, sharing and relating what works and what does not work and what will be happening going forward.  The openness with keeping everyone informed and making everyone feel empowered with a strong since of security knowing they indeed make a difference and are an integral part of the company's success.  If they are the sandwich maker their efforts will be nourishment to someone.  If they are a street sweeper they may just sweep away the nail that may have punctured the tire of someone who wouldn't have been able to afford to replace it.  How does what we do add value should be an integral part of any training communication.

 4.  Keep Your Eye on the Prize!
A better trained workforce is priceless.  You can spend all the money you want on IT budgets, new software, new hardware, but if no one knows how to use it or apply it to your business processes what good is it anyways?  Having taught computer and business classes I would opt to have everyone one attend training for at least three months on-site for one hour a day.  The focus would be on improving employee knowledge and skill set.  It would not even have to be directly related to their position.  They would probably end up being more well-rounded having to think outside the box as to how what they are learning can be applied to what they do every day. Even if someone learns how to create a flyer for a recipe, are they not learning a skill set they can apply to other things?  For instance, how to make better presentations or ideas for dishes to bring to a company potluck.

I feel one reason why I have learned so much about the technology I do know about is because I am not afraid to explore.  I remember when my children used to tease me that I had a computer in every room including the kitchen when they were growing up.  It was because I never wanted knowledge to be out of reach for them.  You have to willing to get down in the trenches and get dirty to clean things up some time.

Time is a precious commodity you want to use wisely.  Some people may scuff at an hour a day over a three or four week period for all employees (not everyone in the same hour session small groups of up to ten people) covering everything there is to know about let’s say for instance Excel, Microsoft Outlook, or Microsoft Word.  They learn all the features available from the beginning to the advanced level.  Rather than having all the latest and greatest bells and whistles that no one knows how to blow turning the tables and making it so everyone is at least familiar how to blow them if they so desire.  They are at least familiar that managing documents properties from Backstage View is one of the latest features in the later versions of the Microsoft Office Suite of Products.  They know what a Ribbon is.  At bare minimum since it has been around for so many years they can actually identify what a menu bar is and how it is used globally across so many platforms to make software apps more user-friendly.

How does this benefit the organization?  Well I think it benefits the organization in more ways than one.  First off, the employees will have a better understanding of what is sitting right in front of them on their desktop.  It would send through a more powerful message to other organizations that the employees with company ABC are well trained and the employees of choice.  The strength in the employees will resonate as strength within the company.

It is no doubt some of my most intrinsically rewarding experiences has been when I have been able to share my knowledge with others and those opportunities when I have been able to increase my own knowledge.  In my lifetime, if I am ever fortunate enough to lead a large organization I would make one of the greatest contributions to my legacy the fact that I had a work force empowered and trained to be bigger than the position they held.  Under my regime we took stock in the people so investors, shareholders, and our community partners would take stock in us.

"How do you grow your workforce?"  Just curious, how many ways did you count?

---------------------------------------------------

I'm Lynne Ruffin and I pen my own blogs.  If you enjoy reading my blogs please feel free to subscribe and comment at your leisure.  I am an entrepreneur in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia consulting with small to medium sized businesses to assist in their efforts to showcase their style to the World Wide Web.  You can reach me at (757) 542-5108 or via email to Lynne@LynneRuffin.com.