Ever felt butterflies in your stomach? Well right now I have that feeling. It's late and all I can think about is this week is going to really be a turning point in my life. I am excited about the start of a New Year and the feeling of everything starting over fresh and new because of it.
The reason why I am feeling the butterflies is because I am going to step out on faith and make some incredible changes which are going to reap of consequences - probably good, bad, and indifferent all rolled up into one. However, I feel it is best for me. This year I have vowed to myself it is going to be my best year ever and I am going to diligently strive to meet the goals I set for the past two years and fail short.
It is going to require a whole lot of change. I know it is up to me to make the changes necessary in my life for me to realize my full potential. My goal for this year is to channel my paths to live a life full of abundance. "Bondage to Abundance" as spoken by Kelvin Bostic at a seminar when I was attending Norfolk State University is one of the most profound speeches I have ever been privy to hear. The main message resonates in my head from time to time: "from bondage to abundance." A person can be bound in so many different ways.
The old adage something to the effect that "if you do the same old things you have always done you will get the same results you have always gotten" seems to ring so true. I want difference in my life. I want to enjoy the sweet smell of success professionally, spiritually, and financially beyond what I could have ever imagined.
It is going to encompass a change of mind, body, and spirit. I hope everyone realizes that I have decided to do what is best for me. I'm trying to live in my comfort zone, my reality, write my destiny. Don't take it personal if it impacts you in a way that you weren't ready for. Some things come to an end not because we want it to end but it ends because you can give and take - but if you keep taking without giving there is nothing left. I am using 2010 as a time to rejuvenate so I can be better not only for myself but everyone I come into contact with.
No need to retaliate out of lack of understanding - just know I want so much more for everyone else too - if we were meant to be it will be. My goal is to always be #1 in all I do and I don't play second fiddle well. I am just praying for divine intervention. If he is for me no one against me shall prosper.
The Year 2010 is the year that I begin a new improved journey towards what I feel will make life better for "Lynne". A good friend asked me a few years back, "Why do you always settle?". It had been about five years since I had spoken to him and he was ministering so I guess he felt the need to meet with me just to ask me that question. It has stuck with me. The sad thing is that I wanted him to go into more detail as to what he meant. Now I realize exactly what he was trying to get across to me.
Well, in 2008 I became very ill and know it was by the grace of God I pulled through. I felt at that time God must have a purpose in mind for me for sparing my life for me to have experienced extreme circumstances and surviving. It often crosses my mind that my purpose here had not yet been fulfilled. I may not ever know exactly what that purpose is - I just feel that it is for me to do more - or at least do something.
See my appendix had burst 4 days prior to my getting medical attention. The paramedics had been called to my home on about three occasions and each time they said oh it is probably something you ate. I had been an empty nester for about 1-1/2 years. It was when my daughter and her family had moved back in with me because their apartment was scheduled for demolition to make way for condos. She said "Mom, I don't care what you say you're going to the hospital - I have never seen you look bad like this." More than likely had she not been persistent to the point where she took me to the emergency room I probably woulnd't be writing this today.
I was admitted into the emergency room. They ran some tests. They told me they would be performing surgery and as I recall gave me a shot. The next thing I remember was seeing my brother with tears in his eyes and my son crying uncontrollably and I knew they had just spoken with the medical professionals. I asked my them what was said? I sort of recall them telling me that all of my systems were shutting down and they needed to operate immediately. The first time I became more cognizant after that I remember how much pain I was in. The next time I woke up I was in a lot of pain. My stomach had a been cut and bandaged.
As I reflect back and look forward the thing I come to grips with more and more is never to take life for granted. It can leave you swift as the next breath comes. No rhyme or reason, I have no control over when my end will come. It leads me wanting now to do so much more. It has really made me more tolerant.
When I look back over the past 1-1/2 years I have not met my potential. Before I got sick I was well on my way to doing the things I set out to accomplish. My stats were where I wanted them to be for midyear and I was right on target to reach some goals I had aspired to achieve. I was really on point to having a stellar year. It was a lot of work and sacrifice. I had the stamina and energy to do it.
Since my surgery, it has been a time rebuilding my strength both personally and professionally. I had to start back over from ground zero. Since I was self-employed it was all on me. Now I'm at a point where I have done all I know to do. Sometimes it requires a little more, and my little more is going to be to step out on faith and do the things necessary to achieve the success I want. I'm asking the Lord to guide me and watch over me like he has always done. I truly believe through him all things are possible.
The song that comes to mind is: "I Can't Give Up Now" recording by Mary Mary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3q8wWgmG7k
It is will but it also takes my putting forth some will power. I'm going to do things for Lynne in 2010.
