I've seen a few questions or statements relating to whether or not someone is ready to be a wife on FACEBOOK this week. I know deep down inside I am not ready to be a wife.
I love men. I would love to have the companionship of having someone to cook for, someone to clean for, someone to spend time with, someone to fall asleep next to, someone to wake up beside. All the good stuff which comes with companionship and relationship. I would definitely want someone strong enough to let me take on the old traditional role as a woman and he as a man. Especially considering I was raised by my grandparents. A generation where they stuck together, never once did you hear the word "divorce" no matter how mad they got at each other. They didn't cop out they learned to cope. No matter what went on outside the home they were always respectful and mindful of each other in the home. They knew how to be husband and wife.
The big drawback as far as me considering myself as wife material is I'm not ready for just any relationship. As the song lyrics go "I Can't Let Just Anybody on Top of Me" rings very true for me. The one thing I am very picky about is my man. It sort of reminds me of a picky eater. Someone who picks at everything on their plate. If you know a picky eater they don't like this and they don't like that. The food has to look a certain way, it has to smell a certain way, it has to have a certain flavor to it, it has to sit right with their digestive system, it can't be too dark, it can't be too light, it can't be too sour, it can't be too sweet, it can't be overcooked, it can't be undercooked. Even with some picky eaters, especially with vegetables they have to be "in season." Yes I know a picky eater or two.
It seems the older I get the more pickier I get about men. Now when it comes to food the older I get the more of a variety I like. I've never been a picky eater because I was raised by a country cook. I used to eating a myriad of foods. However, with men, I do realize it should be less picky at my age. Knowing the market is not ripe for 48 year old black women which seems to be one of the hottest topics on the web all the time. Some days I wonder why does the media portray black women like we have no options for men because they feel there is a disproportionate number of black women not in relationships.
Brace yourself for this next analogy. Truth be known, I liken my pick for my next mate like I do when I go to a superstore that has samples of food out for you to try before you purchase a new product. I want a sample. I don't want to buy something I can't have a taste of first. And just like when I go those superstores (which is not often nowadays I buy more single than bulk). I'm not going to ask for a sample I want it to be offered. If it is something I know I don't want to sample I want to be able to say "no thanks" pleasantly and keep it moving. If I sample and it is not to my liking I don't want to buy it and take it home.
Now getting back to reality. My daughter tells me all the time she is a realist and in other words, she feels I'm not. I'm trying to keep this as PG as possible because my granddaughters sometimes read my blog posts too.
And mentioning offspring that brings a whole different element of relationships into the game. It's hard connecting with someone your children and grandchildren don't like. I've found that small children are a very good judge of character. Also, it doesn't take them long to figure out time your spending time with someone else is less time you have to spend with them.
Now when they get older in their teens and early adult years the reasons tend to be even more selfish. They don't want mom spreading her time and energy too thin. They need momma available for all the "momma do this" and "momma do that moments". They are quick to let you know when someone from the outside is "in the way". I sometimes feel like I birthed three CEO's and I'm their personal secretary. Don't let me screw up, they are quick to say "get it right next time lady!" Or "what were you thinking?" They are by far my biggest critics. I've been through a blended marriage before. I don't want to suffer the trials and tribulations I suffered in the past. At least not knowingly.
If there are children and/or grandchildren on the other side and the ex-half doesn't want anything to do with me for no reason at all other than they are miserable with themselves. I say run don't walk. How can you blend being at odds with anyone in a critical role in your stepchildren lives. Men get along with the ex-husband why can't women get along with the ex-wife?
Heck, I even remember reading excerpts out of T. D. Jake's book "God's Leading Lady" years ago. Which before I were to get married again I would read from cover to cover.
I hold no resentment at all towards any man so much that it would interfere with my relationship with a man in the future. One day in the future I would like to be married again. Right now today I have too much on my plate to even think about companionship, relationship, or just getting together.
I'm going to a comedy show up in Richmond tonight alone. Now I would really like to have someone accompany me but I don't have time for no drama. I would like to be able to relax and have a drink but I can't drink and drive. It's been two years since I've had a drink because I mainly go places by myself.
The past week has been one of those weeks when too many people showed interest in my being single. I'm single because I choose to be. I don't think I'm so unattractive I can't get a man. At this stage in my life I don't want a hit and miss I want a home run.
Am I ready to be a wife? No I don't see it happening today!
I love men. I would love to have the companionship of having someone to cook for, someone to clean for, someone to spend time with, someone to fall asleep next to, someone to wake up beside. All the good stuff which comes with companionship and relationship. I would definitely want someone strong enough to let me take on the old traditional role as a woman and he as a man. Especially considering I was raised by my grandparents. A generation where they stuck together, never once did you hear the word "divorce" no matter how mad they got at each other. They didn't cop out they learned to cope. No matter what went on outside the home they were always respectful and mindful of each other in the home. They knew how to be husband and wife.
The big drawback as far as me considering myself as wife material is I'm not ready for just any relationship. As the song lyrics go "I Can't Let Just Anybody on Top of Me" rings very true for me. The one thing I am very picky about is my man. It sort of reminds me of a picky eater. Someone who picks at everything on their plate. If you know a picky eater they don't like this and they don't like that. The food has to look a certain way, it has to smell a certain way, it has to have a certain flavor to it, it has to sit right with their digestive system, it can't be too dark, it can't be too light, it can't be too sour, it can't be too sweet, it can't be overcooked, it can't be undercooked. Even with some picky eaters, especially with vegetables they have to be "in season." Yes I know a picky eater or two.
It seems the older I get the more pickier I get about men. Now when it comes to food the older I get the more of a variety I like. I've never been a picky eater because I was raised by a country cook. I used to eating a myriad of foods. However, with men, I do realize it should be less picky at my age. Knowing the market is not ripe for 48 year old black women which seems to be one of the hottest topics on the web all the time. Some days I wonder why does the media portray black women like we have no options for men because they feel there is a disproportionate number of black women not in relationships.
Brace yourself for this next analogy. Truth be known, I liken my pick for my next mate like I do when I go to a superstore that has samples of food out for you to try before you purchase a new product. I want a sample. I don't want to buy something I can't have a taste of first. And just like when I go those superstores (which is not often nowadays I buy more single than bulk). I'm not going to ask for a sample I want it to be offered. If it is something I know I don't want to sample I want to be able to say "no thanks" pleasantly and keep it moving. If I sample and it is not to my liking I don't want to buy it and take it home.
Now getting back to reality. My daughter tells me all the time she is a realist and in other words, she feels I'm not. I'm trying to keep this as PG as possible because my granddaughters sometimes read my blog posts too.
And mentioning offspring that brings a whole different element of relationships into the game. It's hard connecting with someone your children and grandchildren don't like. I've found that small children are a very good judge of character. Also, it doesn't take them long to figure out time your spending time with someone else is less time you have to spend with them.
Now when they get older in their teens and early adult years the reasons tend to be even more selfish. They don't want mom spreading her time and energy too thin. They need momma available for all the "momma do this" and "momma do that moments". They are quick to let you know when someone from the outside is "in the way". I sometimes feel like I birthed three CEO's and I'm their personal secretary. Don't let me screw up, they are quick to say "get it right next time lady!" Or "what were you thinking?" They are by far my biggest critics. I've been through a blended marriage before. I don't want to suffer the trials and tribulations I suffered in the past. At least not knowingly.
If there are children and/or grandchildren on the other side and the ex-half doesn't want anything to do with me for no reason at all other than they are miserable with themselves. I say run don't walk. How can you blend being at odds with anyone in a critical role in your stepchildren lives. Men get along with the ex-husband why can't women get along with the ex-wife?
Heck, I even remember reading excerpts out of T. D. Jake's book "God's Leading Lady" years ago. Which before I were to get married again I would read from cover to cover.
I hold no resentment at all towards any man so much that it would interfere with my relationship with a man in the future. One day in the future I would like to be married again. Right now today I have too much on my plate to even think about companionship, relationship, or just getting together.
I'm going to a comedy show up in Richmond tonight alone. Now I would really like to have someone accompany me but I don't have time for no drama. I would like to be able to relax and have a drink but I can't drink and drive. It's been two years since I've had a drink because I mainly go places by myself.
The past week has been one of those weeks when too many people showed interest in my being single. I'm single because I choose to be. I don't think I'm so unattractive I can't get a man. At this stage in my life I don't want a hit and miss I want a home run.
Am I ready to be a wife? No I don't see it happening today!
