Most of my life I have been very competitive. One thing I always detested is someone being better at me in any surrounding I've been in. I remember back when I was in school I would hate for someone, anyone to get a higher grade on a paper than me. If someone got a better grade than me I would get the other paper and compare the differences.
Then when I first started taking music classes, I would practice and practice and practice if I knew an audition were coming up for seating. I just had to be first chair. I didn't even want the upperclassmen to have a higher seat than me.
If a upperclassmen did enjoy a higher seat than me I would practice until I knew I was better than them. I would practice from the time I got home until I fell asleep with my instrument in my mouth and hands. I had to have the best intonation, hit the notes the best, play the notes the fastest, whatever it took to be number one. I even remember in college I would practice to be seated higher than the music majors even though I was majoring in business.
I think somewhere along the way I lost a lot of that competitiveness. It really all began happening as my children aged. There were finally people I could concede to gracefully. I didn't care that they were smarter than me. I didn't care they were more athletic than me. I didn't care that they were better at scientific stuff related to matter and formulas than I was. I didn't care that they were better history buffs than me. I enjoyed watching them compete against each other to see who knew more about a subject matter than the other. I enjoyed watching them compete to see who could solve a mathematical equation the fastest. I enjoyed watching them go online to see who could search for the best codes to get to the highest levels in their video games. I especially loved seeing them work together to get codes to out play their friends on the latest video games. I would have never even thought and still don't know to this day how they entered the codes for better levels on those games. All I knew is the joysticks seemed to be the controllers. How they figured out or who showed them how to search for codes and then upload them into the game somehow for a better position is beyond me.
Well up until recently I thought the fire for that type of competitiveness had burnt out of me. Now I realize I got renewed desire.
You never know what hand you're going to be dealt and the sad fact of the matter you just have to play it or fold. If you fold you definitely have no chance of winning. However, if you stay in the game and keep playing you never know you can come out a winner if the cards play in your favor. Even if you are dealt what seems to be on the surface a bad hand. Like in a card game a bad hand can just be one that is evenly distributed unbeknown to all the players.
Somethings I said I would never do I'm doing. I said I would never play second fiddle but lately I have been. At times it tears me up but I am just holding steadfast that I will persevere. It's akin to wanting first chair so bad I'm going to practice like crazy and it is going to happen. Keeping my eye on my goals and objectives and the things I need to perfect to help get me to where I want to be.
Then when I first started taking music classes, I would practice and practice and practice if I knew an audition were coming up for seating. I just had to be first chair. I didn't even want the upperclassmen to have a higher seat than me.
If a upperclassmen did enjoy a higher seat than me I would practice until I knew I was better than them. I would practice from the time I got home until I fell asleep with my instrument in my mouth and hands. I had to have the best intonation, hit the notes the best, play the notes the fastest, whatever it took to be number one. I even remember in college I would practice to be seated higher than the music majors even though I was majoring in business.
I think somewhere along the way I lost a lot of that competitiveness. It really all began happening as my children aged. There were finally people I could concede to gracefully. I didn't care that they were smarter than me. I didn't care they were more athletic than me. I didn't care that they were better at scientific stuff related to matter and formulas than I was. I didn't care that they were better history buffs than me. I enjoyed watching them compete against each other to see who knew more about a subject matter than the other. I enjoyed watching them compete to see who could solve a mathematical equation the fastest. I enjoyed watching them go online to see who could search for the best codes to get to the highest levels in their video games. I especially loved seeing them work together to get codes to out play their friends on the latest video games. I would have never even thought and still don't know to this day how they entered the codes for better levels on those games. All I knew is the joysticks seemed to be the controllers. How they figured out or who showed them how to search for codes and then upload them into the game somehow for a better position is beyond me.
Well up until recently I thought the fire for that type of competitiveness had burnt out of me. Now I realize I got renewed desire.
You never know what hand you're going to be dealt and the sad fact of the matter you just have to play it or fold. If you fold you definitely have no chance of winning. However, if you stay in the game and keep playing you never know you can come out a winner if the cards play in your favor. Even if you are dealt what seems to be on the surface a bad hand. Like in a card game a bad hand can just be one that is evenly distributed unbeknown to all the players.
Somethings I said I would never do I'm doing. I said I would never play second fiddle but lately I have been. At times it tears me up but I am just holding steadfast that I will persevere. It's akin to wanting first chair so bad I'm going to practice like crazy and it is going to happen. Keeping my eye on my goals and objectives and the things I need to perfect to help get me to where I want to be.
